Nothing can dampen the never-ending nature of transfer talk. Here's a look at the wildest rumors that made the rounds this week.
Before Manchester United's front three went supernova when play restarted, attacking reinforcements were a hot topic at Old Trafford. That trail went cold for a while, but now that the club has secured a place in next season's Champions League, some added firepower is required.
Enter Raul Jimenez. Portuguese outlet RTP, via the Express, reports that the Mexican forward is on the verge of joining United since Wolverhampton agreed to a £27-million deal for Braga striker, Paulinho.
United's enduring pursuit of Borussia Dortmund's Jadon Sancho nears fruition, thanks in part to a €66-million windfall from Champions League qualification. Consequently, Dortmund have begun shopping for replacements.
The club is on notice as Memphis Depay enters the final year of his Lyon deal, per Bild. Additionally, Sport.de says Sassuolo's Jeremie Boga has landed on Dortmund's radar, amid interest from Sevilla, Napoli, and Chelsea. The Daily Mail also hopped in on rumor roulette, claiming talks have begun with Lille's Jonathan Ikone. Sign them all, cowards!
David Beckham, who owns upstart MLS side Inter Miami, is desperate to make a huge splash in the transfer market. He's targeting Barcelona striker Luis Suarez as the ideal face of the expansion club in an attempt to do just that, according to Mundo Deportivo.
With Barca linked to a host of strikers for what feels like forever, the time could be right for the 33-year-old to leave the Camp Nou for the U.S.
If Bayern Munich want to keep hold of the versatile Austrian, Alaba's agent is demanding a contract worth £18 million per season, according to Bild. Will Bayern, a club amid a long-term youth movement, be willing to dedicate that much cash to 28-year-old? There's no way of knowing.
Since Norwich City was relegated and can no longer drive a hard bargain, a bid of €20 million could be enough to bring the promising 20-year-old to the Allianz Arena. Additionally, Football.London reckons Tottenham are also keen on Aarons if he'd fancy making a sideways move from the Canaries.
Since Kepa Arrizabalaga struggled mightily this past season - being a straight-up liability at worst - Chelsea are in the market for a new goalkeeper to backstop what promises to be a high-octane team next year.
According to Cadena Ser, the Blues have labeled Barca's Marc-Andre ter Stegen as the ideal replacement, which - let's face it - will never happen. That explains why the Daily Mail also associated the FA Cup final losers with Burnley's Nick Pope and Ajax's Andre Onana. Onana, what's my name? It's Andre.
Remember Hulk? The aptly-named Brazilian forward could soon bring his powerful physique and rocket of a left foot to the Premier League. Talksport claims the 34-year-old has offers to play in England's top flight once his contract with Shanghai SIPG expires in January.
Signing Hulk would be somewhat bizarre at this point in his career, which almost certainly means West Ham United will be in the mix. He also recently married his ex-wife's niece, which is an interesting - if not unrelated - detail on the topic of family trees that resemble Venn diagrams.
Real Madrid could pad their pockets by accepting Everton's €20-million offer for Sergio Reguilon following a stellar Sevilla loan, and another €20 million by dumping Borja Mayoral at Lazio. Elsewhere in the Spanish capital, Atletico Madrid president Enrique Cerezo says Jan Oblak is not for sale. Spoiler alert.
Arsenal appear set to rebuff Inter Milan, Juventus, and Barca's interest in Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, while Barca have allegedly offered Philippe Coutinho for Matteo Guendouzi and €9 million. That's actually hilarious.
Finally, relegation-bound Bournemouth have received interest from Leicester City, Newcastle, Crystal Palace, and West Ham for David Brooks. Meanwhile, Liverpool remain fascinated by Lloyd Kelly, and Sheffield United could tempt goaltender Aaron Ramsdale to take Dean Henderson's spot. Ambitious stuff.