Joe Mazzulla has a way with words.
The Boston Celtics bench boss has repeatedly flummoxed reporters, fans, and even his own players with some of his quips, and he did it again recently, using nature's cruel circle of life as a metaphor to take issue with the idea of the Celtics having to simply "defend" their title.
"I think the word 'defend' is a very passive-aggressive term," he told John Karalis on the "Locked On Celtics" podcast. "You go back to the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend. They're the most aggressive, and they attack the most."
Erasure of herd mentality aside, it's another example of how Mazzulla makes it impossible to gauge how serious he is, thanks to his deadpan delivery. So, in no defined order, here are some of Mazzulla's other memorable lines that have left us equally baffled.
Enjoying the boobirds
"I don't mind getting booed. It's good for ya."
After a Feb. 1 home loss to the rival Los Angeles Lakers this past year, Mazzulla was asked about the Celtics' home crowd voicing its frustration with the team, and he couldn't even wait until the end of the question to tell you how much he basks in your disappointment.
'Spider-Verse' Celtics
"Have you ever seen 'Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse'? There's like 20 different Spider-Mans? That's like our team."
The Celtics coach was answering a question about multiple players showing up in a February win over the Washington Wizards, but along with the unexpected cinema pull, he may have gotten the movie wrong. "Into the Spider-Verse" was five years old at the time and only featured six different Spider-Men in its main cast. However, its 2023 sequel, "Across the Spider-Verse," contained cameos by multiple heroes from the movie's 600-plus-member Spider-Society. Easy mistake, Joe.
The other royal family
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph? ... I'm only familiar with one royal family. I don't know too much about that one."
Mazzulla was only about two months into his role in November 2022 when the Celtics had the presumed honor of hosting monarchical duo Prince William and Kate Middleton courtside at TD Garden. However, when asked what it was like to be in the royal family's presence, Mazzulla's mind was wholly elsewhere.
Unprompted love for 'The Town'
"Before I forget, no one's ever asked me what my favorite scene from 'The Town' was. I know you guys all know that's my favorite movie, but no one's ever been curious about what my favorite scene is? ... My favorite one is Doug MacRay is getting ready to leave town, and he skips by the FBI's car and leaves a nice, well-thought-out handwritten note underneath the antenna, and then gets out of town. That's my favorite scene."
It was Brian Scalabrine in 2023 who first revealed Mazzulla's apparent obsession with "The Town" - the favorably reviewed 2010 Boston bank-robbing thriller starring Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, and Jon Hamm - when he said the coach watches it four times a week. Though he didn't outright deny it, the extent of Mazzulla's fandom wasn't clear until a year later, when he held reporters back at the end of a presser to drop a lengthy tidbit that only adds to the probability that he's in the middle of a rewatch right now.
Shutting down Wemby talk
"Do not ask me any Wembanyama questions. I don't care."
In Victor Wembanyama's only trip as a rookie to Boston, the Celtics walked away with a 19-point win despite a game-high 27 points from the heavily touted No. 1 pick. So, of course, Mazzulla walked into the postgame media availability with one immediate rule: no discussing the 7-foot-4 phenom.
A masochistic approach
"I'm always up to get knocked out. I think that's important, too. ... If you can't go through the day hoping you get knocked out, I don't know what you're doing."
In March, TNT analyst Charles Barkley took such offense with Mazzulla trying to block Phoenix Suns forward Royce O'Neale during a timeout that Barkley said he would've "knocked the hell out of him" if the coach tried it against him. In response, Mazzulla divulged that it would have been his preferred outcome anyway.
