Super bowl betting diaries: A fun-filled day of food and debauchery
On a scale of simply hoping both teams have fun, to finding a way to parlay the color of the Gatorade dumped on the winning head coach with the result of the Puppy Bowl, I'd say right now I'm at a 7.5 on the Super Bowl betting scale. But it's extremely early.
This Sunday's Super Bowl is the holy grail of betting. So long as you're playing responsibly and within limits, why not close the curtain on a turbulent 2020-21 NFL season with a day's worth of fun and debauchery? Because honestly, if you haven't tried to find a cross-sport prop that ties in a KHL total yet, I don't know if you can be trusted.
Personally, this is how I plan on spending the last day of the NFL season.
Sweat Team Fluff vs. Team Ruff
No, the first wager of the day is not the coin toss or the anthem - it will be Puppy Bowl 17.
Oh, you're thinking of how Andy Reid will attack the Buccaneers' secondary? Sharp bettors are wondering how Comet from Team Ruff's feeling after coming up hobbled during a wild game of fetch last week!
Team Fluff's taken three of the last four, but I'm betting the over. The first offensive dog coordinator (ODC) to call a 4th-and-goal fade should be fired on the spot.
Feel a bit frisky, dabble in the cross-sport prop market
Cross-sport props tie in the NBA, NHL, college basketball, and more with the big game. Only on Super Bowl Sunday can you bet something like LaMelo Ball's combined points, rebounds, and assists against the Wizards over the total number of points in the first half of Chiefs-Buccaneers.
I'm pretty sure one year I bet Steve Nash to record more steals than Tom Brady would get into fights with Patriots OC Josh McDaniels on the sideline. I'm also fairly certain I lost that one.
See if anyone spilled the Gatorade color ... literally
Remember when Todd Gurley had a wide-open path to the end zone versus the Packers in 2018, and instead of taking the touchdown to give Rams and over bettors the win, he took a knee at the 1-yard line? The then-L.A. running back tried to redeem himself a couple of months later when one curious Twitter user bluntly asked Gurley - whose team was in the Super Bowl - which Gatorade the Rams preferred.
Gurley actually replied, giving bettors a nudge in the right direction.
Ice Punch
— Todd Gurley II (@TG3II) January 23, 2019
And then the Rams got smoked, as did my "clear" bet on the Gatorade color. I oftentimes think Gurley has it out for me.
Set food odds
Wings aren't even a top-12 food for me but I abide by Super Bowl law. Here's the field for which sauce I'll be using.
| Sauce | Odds |
|---|---|
| Medium | -150 |
| Garlic Parmesan | +150 |
| Hot | +250 |
| Thai Chili | +300 |
| Mild | +1000 |
Note: Garlic parmesan always gets late action. Every single year. I don't know what it is.
Bet the game
I almost forgot! The three big bets for the Super Bowl, at least so far.
- Over 56
- Under 6.5 punts
- Tom Brady MVP (+210)
So naturally, I'm expecting something like this to occur on the broadcast:
"And what's this? Brady looks a bit shaky after that sack, and now the Buccaneers have to rely on backup Blaine Gabbert. How unfortunate, especially after punting for the seventh time in the first quarter! Wow, hopefully you didn't bet the over, either, because Kansas City hasn't recorded a first down yet."
Please, Team Ruff and Team Fluff. Your boy might need some points on Sunday afternoon.
Alex Kolodziej is a betting writer for theScore. He's a graduate of Eastern Illinois who has been involved in the sports betting industry for 12 years. He can quote every line from "Rounders" and appreciates franchises that regularly wear alternate jerseys. Find him on Twitter @AJKolodziej.