Kobe Bryant isn't a man known for suffering indignity in silence, so it seemed like only a matter of time before the foibles of his deeply flawed Los Angeles Lakers set him off.
According to Mike Bresnahan of the Los Angeles Times and Arash Markazi of ESPN, that finally happened during Thursday's team practice, when the effort level from the rest of the team wasn't up to Kobe's standards.
"Now I see why we've lost so many games," said a visibly upset Bryant. "We're soft like Charmin!"
Charmin, for those uninitiated, is ultra soft. Even in a fit of rage, Kobe is apparently still handy with a simile.
You know, in terms of toilet paper, saying you're as soft as Charmin is a good thing. In basketball? Not so much. #tweetfromtheseat
— Charmin (@Charmin) December 11, 2014
Such eloquence, though, eluded him moments later.
"These motherf------ ain't doing s--- for me," he yelled to general manager Mitch Kupchak as he walked off the practice court.
Time will tell whether the call-out lights a fire under his teammates, but at least one of them apparently isn't taking the criticism to heart.
Said Swaggy P during scrimmage, with Kobe covering him: "Nobody in the world can guard me. Nobody!"
He also pulled Jeremy Lin and Jordan Clarkson aside after practice and told them to stand up for themselves when Kobe got on them.
As for Kobe, he's just doing him.
"I just challenge guys, see what happens," he said. "I’ve always believed in throwing them in the pool and then seeing if they can sink or swim."
