Weird Week in Hoops: Acting chops, tasty nuggets, and Draymond's Carlton heave

Every Sunday, theScore's most discerning minds highlight the week's lighter moments from around the basketball universe. Here's what caught our eyes this week.

Be warned: Weird Week contains coarse content. One in 100 doctors also consider it a natural aphrodisiac.

Draymond and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad heave

Trailing 103-100 with 8.7 seconds left in regulation Monday against the San Antonio Spurs, Draymond Green heaved a totally unnecessary desperation triple to the amusement of everybody.

"I felt like that was the smartest dumb play in history," Green said postgame. "A very smart play that ended up being dumb as hell."

Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr took the blame, telling NBC Sports that he wrongly instructed his charges that the Spurs would foul the ball-handler, something Gregg Popovich's men typically avoid.

At least Big South school Longwood had better success with the early heave.

Putting the AARP in NBA

Before Jordan was "MJ," the moniker belonged to five-time All-Star Marques Johnson.

And while hoopers of a certain vintage often have trouble getting out of bed, the Bucks announcer showed he can still rise to the occasion, marking his 65th birthday with a one-handed slam.

Johnson should continue to work on his conditioning; if today's stars begin to drop out of this year's All-Star Game, Adam Silver might actually need him to lace up.

Boeheim draws up the pick-and-roll

Speaking of AARP card-holders, here's a video of Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim picking his nose and eating it during Tuesday's win over N.C. State.

Somebody get this man a sandwich.

Death by a million nuggets

On the topic of the intersection between hoops and cuisine, Larry Nance Jr. carried the torch for Cleveland fans' decade-long #MeVsNuggets challenge. As per tradition, Nance's goal was to eat one McNugget for each point the Denver Nuggets scored against the Cavaliers on Wednesday.

The injured Cavs forward nearly ate 100 of the emulsified chicken chunks before waving the white flag. Nance, who is understandably a fan favorite, also launched an initiative at the start of the season meant to prop up local businesses struggling during the pandemic.

"Who's that man, mama?" says Kings rook Haliburton

Tyrese Haliburton responded to NBA 2K's "likeness update" by saying "who the hell is that?" To Haliburton's credit, the video game representation bears little resemblance to the Sacramento Kings rookie, though in the annals of pixelated falsifications ...

... It could be worse.

Perhaps former NBA big man and current Twitter user Scot Pollard could help out with Haliburton's likeness. He seems to have a good way of assessing a player's appearance:

Speaking of rapidly diminishing follicles, shout out to lumbering big man-turned-TV analyst Drew Gooden for rocking the skullet.

Jimmy, LeBron unlikely to garner Academy's attention

There's not much that NBA All-Star, YouTuber, bourgeoning wine aficionado, and aspiring coffee entrepreneur Jimmy Butler can't do. But acting might not be in his oeuvre after a theatrical display failed to convince the refs during the final seconds of Tuesday's win over the New York Knicks.

Ditto for LeBron James, whose display Friday was so noxious that it garnered official condemnation from the NBA.

At this rate, King James could become the first person to win MVP and a Razzie - which honors the worst that the film industry has to offer - in the same year.

Luguentz Dort, possible youth drama-camp attendee?

He's only 6-foot-3, but Oklahoma City Thunder guard Luguentz Dort is built as if a bulldozer had a baby with a freight train. Even still, the 23-year-old demonstrated he possesses a soft touch when the moment calls for it.

Nothing says, "You shall not pass" quite like jazz hands.

Perhaps Dort, who hails from Montreal, adapted his technique from former Canadian NHL pest Sean Avery:

Come back next Sunday for more oddities, inanities, and obscenities from the wonderful world of basketball - and remember to send your nominations and submissions to [email protected].