Much of the focus on Tuesday's Champions League match between defending German kingpin Bayern Munich and Italian counterpart Juventus has fixated not on the forthcoming action on the pitch, but rather on each side's bloated infirmary.
Bayern - whose litany of injuries has only just started to subside with the return of Franck Ribery, Mario Gotze, Xabi Alonso, Juan Bernat, and Medhi Benatia - is still decimated in defence, missing three natural centre-backs due to various ailments.
The Bianconeri, meanwhile, have dealt with no fewer than 44 different injuries this season, and will also be without a pair of defenders Tuesday that have been vital to manager Massimiliano Allegri this season.
Combined, the two clubs would be able to field an enviable back-four comprised entirely of those who will watch Tuesday's contest from the stands. Let's have a look at what would be, on paper at least, a defence fit for a team with Champions League aspirations.
Right-back: Martin Caceres (Achilles)
Deployed both centrally or, as has been the case throughout his career with the Bianconeri, on the right side of defence, the Uruguayan will play no further part in Juventus' season after tearing his Achilles tendon in a victory over Genoa in early February. When fit, the 28-year-old offers pace and aerial ability, though his decision-making - particularly in possession - does occasionally leave something to be desired. He's probably the weakest link in this foursome, and yet he's a versatile, experienced defender with 69 international caps to his name. How many managers in the world can say that about their own backline at the moment?
Centre-back: Jerome Boateng (groin)
The imposing leader of Bayern Munich's backline, the burly German has developed into one of the world's preeminent defenders since arriving in Bavaria; club director Matthias Sammer has gone one step further, dubbing him the very best in the world at his craft. Lionel Messi may have put him on a poster last year, but don't let that fool you - Boateng's combination of pace, power, and skill with the ball at his feet means the 27-year-old has few rivals in world football. His size, coupled with that of our next defender, makes our hypothetical centre-back tandem nearly impossible to beat in the air. Eat your heart out, Atletico Madrid.
Centre-back: Giorgio Chiellini (calf)
Though not the imperious force he once was - the veteran Italian's game has been blighted by the occasional glaring error in recent years - Chiellini continues to be one of the first names on Allegri's team sheet when fit. Bumbling with the ball at his feet - Chiellini's gangling forays forward are a sight to behold - the 31-year-old boasts aerial ability, a total willingness to put his body on the line, and strength in the tackle. The phrase "old school defender" is thrown around too carelessly nowadays, but Chiellini, who seems to have his head bandaged during a match multiple times every month, certainly conjures memories of great, no-nonsense Italian stalwarts of years past. Partnered with Boateng, he offers a rugged style that complements the German's more refined game.
Left-back: Alex Sandro (thigh)
Signed from FC Porto last summer for a hefty €26 million, the Brazilian wing-back has immediately made himself a fan favourite at the Juventus Stadium, offering pace, trickery, and exquisite crossing ability that has not been witnessed down the left flank in Turin since the days of the ambidextrous Gianluca Zambrotta. Patrice Evra is the incumbent starter for the Bianconeri, but Sandro - who has scored twice, provided three assists, and offered 3.3 key passes per 90 minutes thus far in his maiden Serie A season - is the club's long-term solution. In this collection of crocked defenders, the Brazilian would be the main attacking outlet, with fellow full-back Caceres adopting the more reserved role.
Bench: Javi Martinez, Holger Badstuber, Kwadwo Asamoah
