In the midst of the most controversial and scrutinized moment of her career, Maria Sharapova found comfort in the support of her fans. On Wednesday, she expressed her appreciation for that support in a letter posted on her website.
"I woke up yesterday morning with an inbox, in full capacity of love and compassion," she wrote.
Sharapova is on an indefinite suspension - pending an investigation by the International Tennis Federation - after testing positive for a banned substance during January's Australian Open. The infraction carries a maximum ban of four years.
"On average, I love the mornings. New day, new start," she wrote. "It is fair to say that this day was not average. Nothing came to mind at 6am except that I am determined to play tennis again and I hope I will have the chance to do so. I wish I didn’t have to go through this, but I do - and I will."
Sharapova said she'd been taking Meldonium - which aids blood flow, oxygen intake, and endurance - for 10 years, and wasn't aware it had been placed on the World Anti-Doping Agency's updated banned substance list on New Year's Day. Since then, a host of conflicting information has come about regarding the drug and her use of it.
The Latvian scientist who invented the drug said using it shouldn't be considered "doping." The company that manufactures the drug said the normal course of treatment would involve using it for four-to-six weeks, not 10 years. Former WADA head Dick Pound said Sharapova was guilty of "willful negligence" in failing to recognize or acknowledge the drug's amended status as a banned substance. Fellow players have expressed surprise, anger, and disappointment.
Meanwhile, Sharapova's biggest corporate sponsors have suspended their relationships with her.
Through it all, she says she's tried to block out the noise and stay off the Internet:
I have not been online much except the odd search for a new antique coffee table (random, I know), but my friends made a collage for me with all your beautiful messages and hashtags that you created (#IStandWithMaria and #LetMariaPlay). ...
In this moment, I am so proud to call you my fans. Within hours of my announcement, you showed me support and loyalty, which I could only expect to hear when someone would be at the top of their profession.
I wanted to let you know that your wonderful words put a smile on my face. I'd like to play again and hope to have the chance to do so.
Sharapova signed off on a note of gratitude.
"This message isn't anything else but to say thank you," she wrote. "Thank you very much."
