The incoming class of NFL rookies will be subjected to endless analysis of their performance on the field from now until they retire, so why don't we pile on with a completely arbitrary assessment of their first act as professional football players: choosing a jersey number.
Are some numbers really better than others? The answer is yes. Absolutely yes. No. 17 is an objectively worse number for a receiver than No. 18. Can we explain why? Well, not really. Like the Supreme Court's infamous non-definition of obscenity, you just know it when you see it.
Now, on to the grades.
Myles Garrett, DE, Browns: No. 95
(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)
Grade: A
The first overall pick will wear his birth year on his jersey. Garrett wore 15 at Texas A&M, but defensive linemen can only wear Nos. 50-79 and Nos. 90-99 in the NFL. There's something about numbers in the 90s that just looks cool.
Mitchell Trubisky, QB, Bears: No. 10
Grade: A
Trubisky wore No. 10 at North Carolina and will continue to do so as a pro. It's a solid number for a quarterback.
Solomon Thomas, DE, 49ers: No. 96
Grade: B+
No. 96 feels more like a defensive tackle number than an edge rusher number, but perhaps that's a good fit for a player like Solomon, who is versatile enough to move around the defensive line depending on down and distance.
Leonard Fournette, RB, Jaguars: No. 27
Grade: B+
No number looks good on the Jaguars' ugly uniforms, but No. 27 is a classic number for a power back.
Corey Davis, WR, Titans: No. 84
"I’m on a team headed in the right direction, with a great culture. It is going to be a lot of fun." - @c_davis_81 #TitanUp pic.twitter.com/6pRs7SkDGi
— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) April 30, 2017
Grade: B-
No. 84 is a perfectly acceptable number for a wideout and it's nice to see continuity from the digits Davis wore at Western Michigan, but we can't give this choice top marks because of how terrible the No. 4 looks in the Titans' font.
Jamal Adams, S, Jets: No. 33
Grade: A
This just feels like a hard-hitting safety's number.
Mike Williams, WR, Chargers: No. 7*
Grade: N/A
No grade can be assigned for Williams, who is wearing a temporary jersey number for the time being. Williams wore No. 7 at Clemson. He won't get 17 (that's Philip Rivers' number) but perhaps he can nab No. 87 if Jeff Cumberland gets cut and the digits open up.
Christian McCaffrey, RB, Panthers: No. 22
(Photo courtesy: Action Images)
Grade: A+
It's a big change from the No. 5 McCaffrey wore at Stanford, but something about No. 22 just feels right for a runner with his unique skills.
John Ross, WR, Bengals: No. 15
Grade: B-
No. 15 is fitting for a speedy receiver, but it's slightly uncomfortable that it's the number the late Chris Henry wore with the Bengals.
Patrick Mahomes, QB, Chiefs: No. 15
(Photo courtesy: Action Images)
Grade: C
Mahomes wore No. 5 in college and we would have preferred to see him continue doing so as a pro. Kicker Cairo Santos wears No. 5 for the Chiefs currently, but surely something could have been worked out. It feels like Mahomes settled.
Marshon Lattimore, CB, Saints: No. 34
Grade: C
Most top cornerbacks wear numbers in the 20s, so Lattimore taking Ricky Williams' old number feels a bit off.
Deshaun Watson, QB, Texans: No. 4
(Photo courtesy: Action Images)
Grade: A
Watson's No. 4 looked better on his bright orange Clemson jersey than it does on the Texans' relatively dull duds, but we can't hate on it too much.
Hasson Reddick, LB, Cardinals: No. 43
Grade: B-
No. 43 is weird for a starting linebacker, but maybe it sort of fits Reddick because he's a versatile player on a defense full of guys who can play multiple positions.
Derek Barnett, DE, Eagles: No. 96
Grade: B+
Boring pick, decent number choice.
Malik Hooker, S, Colts: No. 29
Grade: A
It's a very strong number for safeties. Think Earl Thomas and Eric Berry.
Marlon Humphrey, CB, Ravens: No. 29
Grade: B-
Humphrey wore No. 26 at Alabama and apparently didn't want to work something out with Maurice Canady for the digits.
Jonathan Allen, DE, Redskins: No. 95
Grade: B
It's fine. Allen wore No. 93 at Alabama, but evidently Trent Murphy didn't want to give that one up.
Adoree' Jackson, CB, Titans: No. 25
Grade: C
Something about No. 25 in the Titans' font makes Jackson seem small. And he already looked undersized.
O.J. Howard, TE, Buccaneers: No. 80
Grade: A
Love it. A classic number for a tight end or receiver.
Garett Bolles, OT, Broncos: No. 72
Grade: B
It's hard to feel anything about numbers for offensive linemen.
Jarrad Davis, LB, Lions: No. 40
Grade: B-
Numbers in the 40s always feel weird for linebackers. They should wear numbers in the 50s.
Charles Harris, DE, Dolphins: No. 90
Grade: B
A solid, if unremarkable, edge-rushing number.
Evan Engram, TE, Giants: No. 88
Grade: B+
Odell Beckham Jr. wears No. 13 and Brandon Marshall wears No. 15, so perhaps it makes sense that the Giants should assign the traditional receiver numbers in the 80s to their tight ends.
Gareon Conley, CB, Raiders: No. 2*
Grade: N/A
No grade can be assigned, as this is a placeholder number.
Jabrill Peppers, S, Browns: No. 27
Grade: A
We like the selection because it's a number that also works if Peppers takes snaps at running back - or even switches to offense permanently.
Takkarist McKinley, DE, Falcons: No. 98
Grade: A
It's the number McKinley wore at UCLA and it seems to suit his big personality.
Tre'Davious White, CB, Bills: No. 27
Grade: B-
We genuinely forgot that White was a first-round pick. His number is also fairly forgettable.
Taco Charlton, DE, Cowboys: No. 97
Grade: A-
Much better than the No. 33 Charlton wore in college.
David Njoku, TE, Browns: No. 85
Grade: A-
No. 85 is a perfectly acceptable number for a tight end with receiving skills, but Njoku might have preferred to retain the No. 86 he wore in college.
T.J. Watt, LB, Steelers: No. 90
Grade: C-
No. 90 isn't a bad number, but it's new to Watt and it just feels like he's admitting that he's a lesser version of his older brother J.J., who famously wears No. 99.
Reuben Foster, LB, 49ers: No. 56
Grade: B
As far as numbers in the 50s go, it's a little bland. Foster wore No. 10 in college and maybe he will eventually switch to No. 50 with the 49ers, which would be an upgrade over No. 56.
Ryan Ramczyk, OT, Saints: No. 71
Grade: B
Another offensive lineman. Who really cares what numbers they wear?
