Michigan's most hated enemy is Freddy P. Soft

There is no one in this universe that Jim Harbaugh hates more than the sharply dressed, sneaky, destructive force of a man known as Freddy P. Soft.

Freddy P. Soft is also 4 inches tall.

Harbaugh, along with the rest of his staff at Michigan, have made Mr. Soft into a rallying figure against the temptations of laziness and negative energy. The figure was originally created by Harbaugh's father, former football coach Jack Harbaugh, according to Dan Murphy of ESPN.

"He's a 4-inch (tall) guy that wears a cape and a hat with a plume in it," Harbaugh said Monday. "He's just tall enough to talk right into your ear and tell you that you don't have to practice today: 'Why are you working so hard? Get over there in the shade. You don't need to attack with enthusiasm unknown to mankind today. Take a break. Take a knee.'"

One of the most prominent advocates for opposing Mr. Soft is Wolverines offensive coordinator Tim Drevno, who has been known to animate heavily for the sake of getting a point across.

"Coach Drevno starts yelling at him, saying, 'Get out of here,'" Michigan quarterback Wilton Speight said. "It's the funniest thing ever. There are times when Freddy P. Soft comes around. The month of August is long and it's brutal."

Michigan is 2-0 so far in 2016, with convincing victories over Hawaii and UCF. Up next is Colorado and a date with Big Ten opponent Penn State the following week.

With any luck, Mr. Soft will be on an extended vacation as the conference schedule looms ever closer for the Wolverines.