Weird week in 🏀: Lowry cracks nuts, Adams soils pants, plus crappy gift guide

Every Sunday, theScore highlights the week's lighter moments from around the basketball universe. Here's what caught our eye this week.

Nutcrackers (nuht•kra•krs)

1. noun: A device used for cracking nuts.

See also: ornamental nutcracker doll. Example: Toronto Raptors teammates Kyle Lowry and Matt Thomas made cameo appearances in a local production of "The Nutcracker."

2. verb: What Isaac Bonga did to Washington Wizards teammate Rui Hachimura on Monday.

theScore's last-minute crappy NBA gift catalog

We take our role as tastemakers very seriously here at "Weird week," which is why we're proud to release a curated list of last-minute gift ideas sure to delight the discerning fan:

• Remember J.R. Smith's boneheaded blunder against the Warriors in Game 1 of the 2018 Finals? How can Cavaliers fans forget?! This Cavs/2018 Finals shot glass should help on that front.
• This so-called "Timeless Treasure" features scraps from jerseys worn by Timberwolves "legend" Wesley Johnson, Lakers second-rounder Devin Eubanks, and a pair of unbeloved Knicks, Timofey Mozgov and Andy Rautins.
• Ever wonder what it's like to take a bath with the "Matrix" himself, Shawn Marion? This horrifying rubber ducky-version of the historically underrated Suns star is for you.
• Don't let the NBA Store's "Almost Gone" disclaimer fool you; there are definitely tens of thousands of these Charlotte Bobcats-branded iPhone 3G cases stashed away in a warehouse, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"-style.
• How about a Kings lapel pin commemorating their 2017-18 campaign. Celebrate that memorable 27-win season in style!
• Remember notably sweaty rebound magnet Reggie Evans? His actual game-worn warmup pants are the perfect addition to any Raptors fan's collection.
• Bargain alert: This disembodied zombie hand holding the Chicago Bulls logo is free if it isn't delivered by Christmas.

Happy shopping and buyer beware!

The line of doody

Speaking of unique gift ideas, keep an eye out for Steven Adams' game-worn shorts on eBay later this month. (No refunds.)

In Poirier taste

"Vinnie Sex Finger" sounds like a nickname you'd give yourself after watching "The Irishman" while on painkillers for a broken pinky. Here's hoping Vincent Poirier's new alias makes it onto his Basketball-Reference page.

You can do eeeet!

This is Adam Sandler's greatest assist since Rob Schneider's film career.

The Sandman has been on an all-out media offensive this week to promote his new film, "Uncut Gems," including a stop on "The Bill Simmons Podcast" alongside a just a teensy bit intense Kevin Garnett, as well as an appearance on "Inside the NBA."

First four rows may get wet

Taking a page from the Blue Man Group, the players in this week's tilt between the Houston Rockets and San Antonio Spurs worked together to give the courtside fans a truly immersive experience.

Side note: this is the level of wetness that gets Philadelphia 76ers coach Brett Brown fired up.

Doppelganger of the week

If you ever wondered what ESPN scoop-mongerer Adrian Wojnarowski might look like if he subsisted solely on chicken sandwiches, well, probably pretty similar to this guy:

Come back next week for more oddities, inanities, and obscenities from the wonderful world of basketball.