Weird Week in Footy: Poopy pups, busted balls, and sending Jack King off

Every Tuesday, theScore highlights the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here's what made us smile - or cringe - on the pitch this past week.

Dani Osvaldo drops mic

Sad news in the world of rock and roll where Dani Osvaldo has ended a three-year hiatus from professional football to sign with Argentine side Banfield. Here's a special offering from the former Italy striker's spell as the lead singer of Barrio Viejo:

Ronnie's going to throw this one on the iPod Shuffle no doubt. Buena suerte, Dani.

Ghana in 60 seconds

The Ghanaian Football Association (GFA) opted for a clean slate when it sacked all the coaches of the men's and women's national teams last week.

It's all gone from bad to worse for a football association that was previously dissolved by the Ghanaian government stemming from alleged widespread corruption among referees that implicated the federation's former president, Kwesi Nyantakyi. Should make for a rather busy job fair.

Bhoys' boy busts balls in Old Firm derby

Some do all they can to avoid the sack, and then there's Celtic's Ryan Christie. Not that it ever needs it, but the Old Firm between Celtic and Rangers was given a boost when the Bhoys' midfielder grabbed Alfredo Morelos' particulars.

Christie miraculously escaped a second yellow card for the foul. The Scotland international was later slapped with a violent conduct charge and subsequently banned three matches.

Should grabbing an opponent's meat clackers be a red card offense? Sound off in the comments.

Pooch interrupts Blades park session

"Stanley Park is not in the best nick. Not a lot of pooper scoopers were about…" Sheffield United boss Chris Wilder said about his side's whimsical doo-doo dodging training session ahead of Thursday's defeat at Liverpool.

If the pups need pointers on discretionary deuces, Jason Puncheon is on Line 1 with some helpful tips (volume on, please).

Prescient Pope sullies Stones

Seven months ago, Port Vale forward Tom Pope tweeted this about Manchester City center-back John Stones:

#weakaspiss

Then, on Jan. 4, Pope levelled for the fourth-tier side at the Etihad Stadium in the FA Cup third round when he beat Stones to a cross. One down, 39 to go.

Bent headline takes several turns

Shout out to arbiters of journalistic integrity, the Daily Mail, for producing one of the more provocative headlines of the year. Marvel at this long-winded and twisting tale of Marcus Bent.

Here's hoping Bent can bounce back with his current side after making 574 appearances during a 17-year career that witnessed the former England Under-21 standout bag 113 goals.

Colombian army, River plate midfielder to meet over dad's disappearance

The new chief of Colombia's army, Gen. Eduardo Zapateiro, says he's willing to meet with River Plate attacking midfielder Juan Quintero to discuss his father's disappearance more than two decades ago.

Jamie Quintero was last seen in 1995 at an army base that was then under Zapateiro's charge. Zapateiro denies playing a role in Quintero's disappearance despite reports of a falling out between the two. A statement released by the military cites an investigation that linked rebel groups with Quintero going AWOL.

Spurs poll runs afoul

Tottenham bid adieu to the decade as football clubs are wont to do: with a poll aimed at highlighting the best the north London side had to offer. Spurs asked followers on Twitter to select their best striker of the decade, and with all due respect to two of the three finalists, the choice was clear.

Instead, intrepid internet users commandeered the poll, selecting the assemblage of scrawny limbs Peter Crouch. Famous for answering "virgin" to a question about what he'd be if it wasn't for football, Crouch tweeted "I think it’s a close one but Harry just edges it for me." There are no winners here.

Fifth-tier match official rubs one out in Cumbria

There were giggles and guffaws at fifth-tier Barrow's beautifully named Progression Solicitors Stadium when the ref sent Ebbsfleet United midfielder Jack King off in the 25th minute of Saturday's clash.

And with that, we're finished for the week. Thanks for reading.