Weird Week in Hoops: Kuzma's excuses, strong LeBron, Curry's burgers

Every Sunday, theScore's most discerning minds highlight the week's lighter moments from around the basketball universe. Here's what caught our eyes this week.

Be warned: Weird Week contains coarse content - even coarser than the food the NCAA tried to give its female athletes at their March Madness tournament earlier this week.

Kuzma blames earthquake for air ball

The Lakers dumped the Warriors by 31 points on Monday, though it could have been 32 had the visitors not tabbed Kyle Kuzma to shoot the freebie on a technical foul.

Kuzma blames Mother Nature for his breezy attempt from the charity stripe.

"San Francisco had a 3.5-magnitude earthquake," Kuzma said, according to The Athletic's Jovan Buha. "Shit started rumbling. I don't know. I got scared and it went far off to the left."

Lemme guess, a hurricane ran off with your shirt, Kyle.

Bucks secure the bag

Trade deadline season is upon us, and while players know all too well that basketball is a business, it still hurts to watch a fan favorite jettisoned unceremoniously.

For that reason, it was touching to see how the Suns paid tribute to one of the team's longtime contributors.

Curry clan appears in whopper of a TV campaign

This week, video surfaced of two television ads featuring Steph Curry, his father Dell, and brother Seth. The secret to becoming the best shooter in NBA history? That's right, it's Burger King.

The United States: 12th in obesity rate, first in Olympic gold medals. Correlation or causation? You be the judge.

On-court security bodies Bonnies photographer

St. Bonaventure topped VCU in the Atlantic 10 final in Dayton, Ohio, but the Bonnies' celebrations were dampened when players noticed the team photographer was caught in a chokehold.

The video below details the incident, captured in 1K.

This seems excessive, though to be fair, every single university student ever has worn a lanyard in willful disregard of aesthetics.

So it's reasonable for the on-court security guard to think he's apprehending a random student. Or maybe he just wanted a hug.

"You really thought you'd get away with it, didn't you? The syllabus clearly states that all essays must be in MLA format. What the hell is this - Chicago?"

King James gives rookie the cold shoulder

LeBron welcomed copper-topped Italian-American hoops ambassador and Warriors rookie Nico Mannion to the league with a screen so powerful, it looked like something akin to a Fiat driving straight into the Rock of Gibraltar.

One thing's clear: LeBron definitely could have produced a solid career in the NFL - if all the opposing players looked like Beaker from the Muppets.

Man loses ankles, place on the dean's List

There's no greater indicator of a hoops-crazed college than people walking around campus aimlessly dribbling a basketball, presumably waiting for a drop-in game to begin at the rec center.

Unfortunately, this chap at Virginia State University found out the hard way that his dribble package isn't all that slick.

The day a middle-aged man rocking the "Academic Probation 1s" crosses you up, you have to stop dribbling around campus. Sorry, those are the rules.

JVG channels Blofeld

A special guest dropped by ESPN color commentator Jeff Van Gundy's home broadcast booth/lair during Wednesday's tilt between the Mavericks and Lakers.

The entire sequence was played for comedy, but we can't help noting the second-rate Bond villain undertones of JVG and his feline companion.

"My diabolical plot is quite simple, Mr. Bond. Every summer, I will pretend to interview for one vacant coaching job. And ESPN will have no choice but to give me a raise to get me to stay."

Hatters gonna hat

Ever wish you could wear a hat ... but, um ... another entirely different hat instead?

Wish no more, as Timberwolves big man Naz Reid has solved that eternal struggle.

Come back next Sunday for more oddities, inanities, and obscenities from the wonderful world of basketball - and remember to send your nominations and submissions to [email protected].