It's Thanksgiving, and that means it's time to be thankful for all we have in life. This year, we're thankful for turkeys - as in, turkeys who screwed up big, often to hilarious results for those of us watching. And oh, there were plenty of those moments in the baseball world.
So, while you sit back with family on this holiday, take a moment to laugh, cry, and even cringe with us at some of baseball's biggest bloopers, transgressions, and truly bizarre moments that are worthy of this prestigious Thanksgiving "honor." Here are the 17 biggest turkeys of the past year in MLB.
Warning: Some videos are NSFW
Mikie Mahtook and Alex Presley
Follow the bouncing ball, kids - except if you're playing left field for the Detroit Tigers because you'll just push it over the fence like Mikie Mahtook. Also, you'll just give your teammates ideas for later in the same game.
The Nationals (who don't know how to dry off bases)
Hey, Nationals: they invented the rain delay so that you won't play with your superstar's health. Here's Bryce Harper almost ripping his knee off from sliding across a wet base a half-hour after a big storm doused Nationals Park.
Coppy was a little sloppy, and thanks to the Braves' signing scandal, the former GM is now banned for life. What did you think was gonna happen, John?
Help us out here, Harry Doyle.
The Phillie Phanatic
That's no way to treat your date, Phanatic. What would your mother say?
When they said "Unleash the Kraken," they did not mean sucker punches inside an out-of-control brawl.
Wipe that smirk off your face, Mr. Met. You know what you did.
Mariners catchers who can't throw out Albert Pujols
That's Albert "MLB's worst player in 2017 who can't run because of chronic plantar fasciitis" Pujols, who somehow couldn't be caught stealing by the Mariners. Pujols actually stole three bases in 2017. All of them came against Seattle.
Woah, a flying bat! What an amazing, majestic momen- oh no, that's right, we're in the middle of a Major League Baseball game.
The Mets, Part II
No, Mets. Bad Mets.
(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)
The only person who knows for sure if Zack Greinke is indeed a "turd" would be Pat Neshek, but Greinke allegedly denying Neshek an autograph repeatedly sure smells funny to us.
This fan who got denied
If you plan to propose at a ballpark, be aware that there is a possibility of this happening.
The Padres and their failed 'hybrid' experiment
Bethancourt was supposed to be the Padres' Wal-Mart brand version of Shohei Ohtani. Instead, they dropped their brand new reliever/catcher/infielder/outfielder from the 40-man roster after just three weeks. It turned out that this natural catcher didn't know how to pitch. Who'd have thunk it?
Keep working at it, Darwin. You'll figure out what a swim slide is eventually.
We could have gone with the bat flip into the wrong dugout, or his platinum sombrero, or getting pulled for bat-flipping a fly ball - but the way he defiantly stood his ground at third base until he was tagged out is forever peak Odubel.
The much-maligned Sandoval finally managed to do something right by hitting a walk-off homer on the last day of the season - and even that was bad, because it robbed the Giants of next year's first overall pick. Oh, Panda.
The Mets, Parts III-XCVIII
(Courtesy: Action Images)
It's Thanksgiving, so we'll spare you fans in Queens by not showing you the inside of Kevin Plawecki's locker, or Tebow-mania, or the rest of the carnage that was the Mets this year. Just be a little extra thankful today, Mets fans, because your team's 2017 season is now mercifully complete.
Happy Thanksgiving, baseball fans!