Lowly German outfit SC Rot-Weiss Oberhausen has made a cheeky attempt to land Zlatan Ibrahimovic, although other clubs would struggle to match the incentives written into the contract.
The club has offered to create a monarchy in the city of Oberhausen with King Zlatan in its top seat, and has also included sweeteners such as having a stand at the Niederrheinstadion built by Ikea, the matchday cuisine being entirely Swedish, and having a local pilsner named in his honour.
At Manchester United, who appear to be the front-runners for the 34-year-old striker's signature, he would get a decent wage, but there are no reported promises of local brewery Marble Beers changing the name of its popular pour Manchester Bitter to Malmo Bitter, nor of a palace being hastily erected in Stretford.
Jose Mourinho will have to work overtime if he's to encourage Ibrahimovic to shun the overtures of Oberhausen.