Weird Week in Football: Butt goals, lip-reading, and Loris Karius

Every Tuesday, theScore will highlight the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here's what made us smile - or cringe - on the pitch this past week.

Gary's queries

Former Manchester United full-back and current marble-mouthed pundit Gary Neville did a Twitter Q&A on Monday evening, and among his many responses was a self-deprecating nod to his horrendous spell managing Valencia.

Who could have guessed that Neville's tenure in Spain would not go to plan? Literally everyone. But that didn't stop Valencia chairman/United fanboy/Salford City enabler Peter Lim from sacking Marcelino after he led the club to successive top-four finishes and its first trophy in 11 years. Valencia: A model in calamity.

Madders claps back

Leicester City playmaker James Maddison took glorified one-ply British toilet paper rag The S*n to task when it continued a trend of highbrow journalism by mocking the England man's Louis Vuitton book bag.

While it's likely that someone at The S*n is crafting a hard-hitting piece linking Maddison's family tree with puppet master reptilians posing as humans, the Foxes star got the last laugh - for now. Good on you, Madders. If anybody needs a refresher on The S*n's past indiscretions, this is a good start.

Contrary to popular belief, foxes do hunt in packs. Drag 'em, lads.

The age of a Karius

Either Besiktas 'keeper Loris Karius is still suffering from the consequences of the concussion he picked up during the 2018 Champions League final, or the German is football's embodiment of "Yakety Sax."

Error-prone Karius was up to his old tricks at Slovan Bratislava in the Europa League, as he allowed a calamitous opener when he left the area only to realize mid-flight that his options were limited. If it's any consolation for the on-loan Liverpool man, it hardly mattered since he conceded thrice more in the 4-2 loss.

Miracle cures in Germany's second tier

Elsewhere in the world of crazy 'keepers, SV Sandhausen shot-stopper Martin Fraisl found football's equivalent of an evangelical nutjob laying miracle hands on the sick during Saturday's 1-1 draw with VfL Bochum.

Seems the second tier of German football doesn't need the magic spray after Fraisl's time-wasting routine came to a quick end with the final whistle.

Wildcats and tardy goats

University of Arizona fans were put on alert when a petting zoo scheduled for the Wildcats match with TCU was at risk after "goats and sheep escaped at a previous event and are currently being chased through the streets of Tucson."

Thankfully, for those who fancy their collegiate football with a side of fleas, the 15 goats and sheep that escaped captivity were later corralled in time to stand around and defecate in a campus parking lot, replicating every tailgating experience ever.

Cheeky stuff in the Czech Republic

Slavia topped Sparta 3-0 in the Prague derby to go top of the Czech first division. Michal Sacek is the butt of jokes after his caboose directed Slavia star Peter Olayinka's off-target effort into the back of the Sparta net. Nice ass-ist.

Indonesia's tardy to the VAR-ty

An Indonesian top-flight clash between Pusamania (excuse me?) Borneo and Madura United saw a player grab his mobile phone to check a replay in the absence of VAR. Modern football really has lost the plot.

Sinking ships and reading lips

Apparently, not everyone is united at Manchester's crap club, as seen in a video of equine cosplayer Phil Jones and boardroom failure Ed Woodward that surfaced following the weekend defeat to West Ham. Hey, Phil, why the long face?

Take this L, Daalas

FC Dallas' transition into an Eredivisie side is not going unnoticed.