Weird Week in Football: Nut jobs, low blows, and long treks

Every Tuesday, theScore highlights the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here's what made us smile - or cringe - on the pitch this past week.

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Punditry and management are two common options, but for most footballers, the ennui of post-playing careers requires some ingenuity. Former Spurs and Nigeria winger John Chiedozie started a Bouncy Castle Business and ex-Portsmouth and Barnsley defender Arjan de Zeeuw is a private eye.

Some second careers are trendier, and Joleon Lescott is the latest to give DJ'ing a shot. Lescott was on the wheels of steel during Manchester City's visit from Atalanta, though the purveyor of ill-timed pocket tweets has a ways to go before he reaches Gaz Mendieta status.

Fool me once, shame on you

Who can forget their first football match? The walk to the ground blanketed by savory clouds of pungent grilled meats and the slurred speeches of zealous uncles highlight an oft-stellar time tailored for first-hand experiences.

Not so much for 13-year-old Tom Sherburn, who made the trek from Somerset for his first in-person encounter with his beloved Southampton. Turns out it was a league-record 9-0 home defeat to Leicester City. Crikey.

"We saw people leaving at 12 minutes in, and I am quite proud of him as the first time he said 'can we go home now dad?' was in the 80th minute," Tom's pa Mike told BBC Sport.

Bradley goes bonkers, MLS style

Los Angeles FC finally got a win against local rival Galaxy, and a usually tranquil Bob Bradley strangely took umbrage with a softball question about Carlos Vela following the Western Conference semifinals victory.

Rather than flip the query to compliment his star striker, Bradley went psycho mode. "Get lost!" Bradley uttered twice before fleeing like a Tolkien villain in an attempt to return the ring to the fiery chasm from whence it came.

Geordie chores

Anyone who's made the mountainous trek to the upper reaches of Newcastle's St. James' Park can relate to this.

If a tree falls in the forest...

If you're looking for a reason why Friday's frenetic Qatar Stars League clash between Al Shahaniya and Al-Sailia finished scoreless, please refer to the video below. Packed house, too. Brilliant locale for a World Cup.

Jab in the jewels from Ron-Robert

It wouldn't be the Weird Week in Football without clumsy 'keeping in the image of stately German error savant Loris Karius, and Hanover's Ron-Robert Zieler wins this installment's nod for ineptitude vs. Karlsruhe.

Already on a yellow, Ronny-Robbo caught Miiko Albornoz in the nether regions a la Carlos Boozer immediately after conceding the late equalizer, and was sent off, forcing Hanover to put an outfield player in net.

Suboptimal intervention

Staying put in the second tier of German football, Holstein Kiel's Michael Eberwein gave away a penalty against Bochum on Sunday when the substitute warming up on the endline was adjudged to have interfered with play.

Bochum scored following Silvere M'boussy's charitable spot kick to secure the three points, and at least now the gaffer knows Eberwein has a decent first touch.

Premature celebrations sink Slaven

Slaven Belupo thought they had caught Hajduk Split 'keeper Josip Posavec off his line during Sunday's Croatian affair. Misguided celebrations ensued while Hajduk marched down the pitch and doubled their lead. Hey kids, play to the whistle.

Lightning strikes twice in Japan

On the topic of goals from distance, Japan's Montedio Yamagata scored from behind the halfway line twice against Ehime on Sunday in the span of 90 seconds. Anyone fancy 10,000-1 odds on Ehime 'keeper Masahiro Okamoto winning the inaugural Lev Yashin award?

Excuse me?

Fifth-tier Eastleigh FC's social media operator earned his/her keep during Sunday's draw with Woking for an absorbing rendition of a moment that ended in disappointment. As it so often goes.

Tardy to the party

Take this woman's phone away.