Every Tuesday, theScore highlights the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here's what made us smile - or cringe - on the pitch this past week.
Getting a tattoo too soon to commemorate a championship is a right of passage for sports fans willing to risk the perils of misfortunes in foresight.
Boasting a healthy 25-point advantage atop the Premier League, it's a safe bet that Liverpool will win their first top-flight title in 30 years, and as such, one supporter decided to jump the gun with some ink to celebrate the feat.
We at the Weird Week are absolutely chuffed to see that amid the economic uncertainty of Brexit and the absence of the positive aspects of trade within the European Union, that England's workforce is boosted by the rise of infant tattoo artists.
Elsewhere in football happenings on Merseyside, Everton celebrated Valentine's Day with a crudely constructed video of Richarlison atop the Liver Building in Liverpool. Utterly bizarre stuff.
For a glimpse of how rival Liverpool supporters judged the video, have a look at the replies. Roses are red, Everton wear blue, children have wee arms, and Jordan Pickford does too.
Everton were in a particularly giving mood for this installment of the Weird Week. Youngsters Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Tom Davies were enjoying the brief winter break in New York for Fashion Week, and the pair dressed the part.
Assuming that most weren't keenly observing Polish football on the weekend, here's Slask Wroclaw's Erik Exposito doing his best Simone Zaza penalty kick impersonation versus Pogon Szczecin.
Thoughts and prayers with any birds/satellites injured in the process of Exposito's celestial efforts. Elsewhere in Poland's top league, the Ekstraklasa, three penalties (1, 2, 3) were awarded on Saturday. None were saved, and none went in. Quick math: that's brutal.
Togolese striker Emmanuel Adebayor has played for some of the biggest clubs in European football. The 35-year-old former Arsenal, Manchester City, Real Madrid, and Tottenham goal-getter can now add Paraguay's Club Olimpia to that list.
Adebayor, who joins 38-year-old former City teammate Roque Santa Cruz at Olimpia, was greeted at the airport - at 2 a.m., no less - by some fervent support from the Paraguayans that was matched by a spirited unveiling at the Estadio Manuel Ferreira.
Enough with all this cheery nonsense. Few teams in Europe's top five leagues have been as putrid as Toulouse this season. Through 25 matches, Les Pitchouns sit last in Ligue 1 on 13 points, with a scant three wins. Since the calendar flipped to 2020, they've picked up more red cards (2) than points (1).
Out of a possible 45 points over their last 15 league matches, Toulouse have earned a single point courtesy of a goalless draw at second-from-bottom Amiens. It's almost impossible to be this bad.
The historic prestige of the matchup between non-league Italian sides Borgo Mogliano and Montottone hangs in the balance after referee Antonio Martiniello used his noggin for nefarious reasons.
After Martiniello sent off Borgo Mogliano's Matteo Ciccioli, the two met outside the changing room after the match, with Martiniello headbutting the unsuspecting shot-stopper. Ciccioli was sent to the hospital for some gelato.
Martiniello earned a one-year ban, a punishment local police cite as reasonable considering the bad example he set for youngsters. Finally, Italian football has its own controversial moment. Took long enough.
If the Weird Week got a dollar every time poor air quality stemming from a landslide into a nearby rubbish dump cancelled a top-flight derby, we wouldn't have to wear an Adebayor Kayserispor top covered in ketchup.
Eibar's visit from Real Sociedad for Sunday's Basque battle was called off courtesy of a beastly breeze emanating from the Zaldibar landfill eight kilometers down the road from the Ipurua Municipal Stadium. If these two sides want to play in an actual dump, may we suggest QPR's Loftus Road?
A Swedish man has won an appeal to change his name to "Tottenham." David Lind was one of three contest winners given the chance to switch their respective monikers to that of their favorite English club.
That was in July, before Sweden's tax agency Skatteverket blocked Lind's application. "There are a lot of people with strange names in Sweden," Lind said in response. "There is even someone called Potato. Maybe someone at Skatteverket is an Arsenal fan?"
Last week, that initial decision was overturned, permitting Lind to legally switch his name to that of the north London outfit. "I've been waiting for it," Lind said, both referring to his new title, and Tottenham's enduring dozen-year wait for a trophy.