Josh Gordon: 'I have failed myself. Again.'
Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon opened up about his struggles with substance abuse and his recent year-long suspension - and fired back at his critics - in an open letter posted to Medium.com on Wednesday.
"I have failed myself. Again," Gordon writes, expressing regret for his multiple drug and alcohol transgressions.
"But you know what ... I also have succeeded," he adds. "I succeeded by escaping a youth riddled with poverty, gang violence and very little in the way of guidance or support. I succeeded by narrowly avoiding a life of crime."
Gordon goes on to say he hasn't smoked marijuana since before he was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in 2012 and can prove it.
Gordon says the failed alcohol test that led to his season-long banishment (he's not permitted to drink in connection as the result of a DWI arrest) was a mistake. He asserts that he had a few drinks on a flight after the Browns' season ended, despite not being much of a drinker. He says he believed his imposed alcohol restrictions expired at the conclusion of the Browns' regular season.
Hours later, Gordon was summoned for a drug test and failed.
Gordon concludes by making an impassioned plea for the media to stop misreporting the facts of his life:
What I do know is the following: I am not a drug addict; I am not an alcoholic; I am not someone who deserves to be dissected and analyzed like some tragic example of everything that can possibly go wrong for a professional athlete. And … I am not going to die on account of the troubled state you wrongly believe my life to be in. I am a human being, with feelings and emotions and scars and flaws, just like anyone else. I make mistakes - I have made a lot of mistakes - but I am a good person, and I will persevere.
If I have a "problem," it is that I am only 23 years old - with a lot left to learn. I've come a long way from those mean Fondren streets, but it's clear that I can be a better me - one who kids coming up to me for selfies and autographs can be proud of. I want that future for myself. And I truly believe that what I am going through right now will only make me stronger. I believe that my future is bright.