Sabathia discusses alcohol issues in emotional essay

New York Yankees left-hander CC Sabathia said Monday in an essay published on the Players' Tribune website that it wasn't until 2012 that he realized "there was something wrong" in his battle with alcoholism.

Sabathia, who abruptly left the Yankees during the playoffs last year to enter a treatment center, announced a day before the AL wild-card game that he was stepping away from baseball to "treat my disease." In a guest post titled "My Toughest Out," the former Cy Young winner opened up about his decision to seek treatment, and how his cry for help was years in the making.

I was in Baltimore at the time. It was the last Sunday of the regular season and we were about to start the playoffs. We'd gotten rained out on Friday, and I'd spent most of the weekend alone in my hotel room clearing out the minibar.

We had a game that day, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to help my teammates if they needed me. I was struggling to function physically, but I also felt awful in so many other ways. It struck me how tired I was of feeling sick. And how exhausted I was after keeping this secret for so long. Then it finally hit me:

You don't have to live like this.

After years of struggling, it's important to me to share my story in my own words. For a long time, I thought I was in this alone. But I want the world to know that there’s always people out there who understand. It's possible to get better.

Sabathia said he feels "physically and mentally stronger than ever" heading into the 2016 season, after spending 29 days in rehab, and coming to grips with his longtime battle. The 35-year-old pitcher says his renewed outlook on life includes living for his family, and being "an amazing father" to his four children.