Theme-based drafting that works

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You've seen opponents who tend to get cheeky on draft day, building a roster centered around a joke or an idea that clearly won't work. Ironic or genuine roster construction weighted heavily in a single-team's direction, in an effort to "honor" reality or whatever ham-fisted reason, is a surefire way to fail.

So is only picking players whose name starts with J, or players raised North of the Mason & Dixon Line. These carry some humor, and the latter requires extensive research in the wrong direction, but they won't yield positive results. It's also less fun for league mates, as one member has essentially volunteered to lose right out of the gate.

In some ways, though, a theme can be seen as a logical extension of a specific plan carried out to an extreme end. In what circumstances could selecting a theme-based lineup be a remotely good idea, though?

Don't Trust Anyone Over 30

While much debate can be had about when, exactly, a player's peak is, once they inch into their 30s their biological clock ticks a bit faster. Not everyone can be David Ortiz at 40 (.315/.401/.620 with 38 HRs and 127 RBIs). To avoid the decline of aging in its entirety, select players under 30, exclusively.

This theme protects you against decline and also from buying into an abnormal, or unsustainable, spike in production. You will miss out on alluring names like Josh Donaldson and Adrian Beltre, but it will also prevent you from once again believing in a Joe Mauer resurgence. That can only lead to heartbreak, folks.

Of the top 30 batters in Fangraphs WAR in 2016, only eight were over 30. Of the top 30 qualified pitchers, 10 finished the season at age 30 or higher. The bulk of top talent is on the younger end of the spectrum, and it's an easy way to avoid declines and injuries associated with advanced years.

Welcome to the Hit Parade

Wait on pitching. No matter how good or how elite the pitching option available to you might appear, don't do it. Wait until your first 10 picks have all been allotted to hitters before even considering a pitcher. Starting pitchers are too volatile and rely too much on the offense and defense around them to be successful.

If you use a first round pick on Clayton Kershaw, what happens if he misses a month or more? As amazing as he was in 2016, losing him for an extended period of time would kill a fantasy team's chances without the appropriate amount of offensive support.

Stacking up on offense gives you a massive edge. As others jump the gun on mid-range pitchers, keep piling on the hits. Corner the market and target SPs with high K/9 potential at the back end of the draft and get ready to stream them through the entire season. If someone gets desperate, you can potentially get a top pitcher for cents on the dollar.

I Wanna Go Fast!

One of the most rapidly declining skills, it seems, is speed. Only 28 players had 20 or more stolen bases in 2016, and not all of them received regular playing time. With pretty much everyone (110 players) hitting at least 20 home runs, it's easier to supplement power than it is to do the same with speed.

If you're fortunate enough to land 1B Paul Goldschmidt in the first round, you're well on your way to having a speed-infused lineup at all positions. Keep tabs on players like Jonathan Villar and Billy Hamilton while reaching for possible bargains like Dee Gordon or perennially underrated Kevin Kiermaier.

If you load up at the skill, much like cornering the hitting market in general, you will become popular in trade offers. You hold the cards, however. Only accept top dollar. Remember, just because you draft with a theme in mind doesn't mean you have to stick with it for the entire season.

Don't Force the Issue

Theme teams are very difficult to pull off, and more often than not they're best abandoned if the landscape changes to make sticking with it more difficult. Don't skip over the best available player just because he doesn't fit into the scheme in your head. Recognize that players can have trade value or help your team otherwise.

Avoid going pitcher-heavy because of the volatility at the position. You're better off loading up on hitters, though there are owners who like to live dangerously and get the edge with elite arms. Ideally, if you're a bat-hoarder, someone else is targeting pitchers with abandon.

Always make your next pick with the idea of improving what you've already built. If the answer deviates from the theme, then so be it. You play to win the game.