Tall order: How 100-goal Crouch went from 'freak' to national hero

Some things are more difficult to explain to the younger generations.

One example is the squeal, bounce, and buzz we had to endure when logging onto dial-up internet. Another is covered in Roddy Doyle's short story "Ash," which tells of a parent's surprise when his daughter has never heard of the dusty residue in a world of electric cookers and gas lighters.

And a new one for that incomprehensible list for minors is how a 6-foot-7 man, who looked as unsteady as a twisted, one-legged Jenga tower, posed England's most formidable attacking threat at the 2006 World Cup.

Stoke City's Peter Crouch has joined the Premier League's elite band of goal-scoring centurions after netting his 100th against Everton on Wednesday. It comes over 18 years after making his senior debut with non-league side Dulwich Hamlet. Months after that, Tottenham Hotspur ditched him in a sale worth a mere £60,000 when he hadn't appeared for the club.

The affable giant adds his new accolade to his 42 caps for England - still holding the record as his country's tallest-ever player - despite possessing a physique more suited to changing batteries in smoke detectors, and little else.

His loan spells with Dulwich Hamlet and Swedish minnow IFK Hassleholm made for an unconventional route to the heights he figuratively reached, and it wasn't until he was sold to Queens Park Rangers in 2000 that he showed he was more than an ungainly beanpole. His doubters, however, were always present.

"Looking around at the faces of the home support at Gillingham, the irony was never lost on me that these people had the cheek to call me a 'freak,'" reads an uncharacteristically venomous extract from his predictably titled book "Walking Tall."

He went on to compare the Gills faithful to "the hillbillies in the film Deliverance."

Though his observation of the Priestfield stands shows a wit of the more cutting variety, Crouch's career was mostly accompanied by his refreshing nice-guy demeanour on the pitch and an ability to not take himself seriously off it.

A man who, to celebrate scoring in the first minute against Arsenal in December 2014, became a gargantuan load for Brixton Academy security that evening when he crowdsurfed beyond the barriers at a Kasabian gig.

"I'd been watching from the side quite reserved, but I ended up getting a bit carried away," he told BBC Sport's Tom Fordyce about the concert.

Reaching the Premier League

He hit the ground lolloping with QPR and Portsmouth, earning a late-season switch to Aston Villa in 2001-02. In Birmingham, he showed his ability to make himself a nuisance, but lacked opportunities in his first top-flight foray, at one point being sent on a brief loan to Norwich City.

Moving to represent his seventh club at just 23, Crouch was sold to Southampton in the summer of 2004. This was when, at long last, the "freak" rubbed shoulders - or, more fittingly, went toe-to-toe - with the country's best on a regular basis.

Crouch proved considerable competition for Premier League stalwarts Kevin Phillips and James Beattie, and the latter's sale to Everton was sanctioned by Harry Redknapp in January 2005 to effectively hand a first-team berth to Crouch.

Redknapp had worked briefly with Crouch at bitter rival Portsmouth, and presumably had the confidence that the striker could cut it as a regular. Shunning the aesthetic attacking traditions of the relegation-threatened club, Redknapp played to his side's best outlet: Crouch.

"When I first came here and got us hitting Crouch early, some of the foreign lads were a bit sceptical and moaned that we were missing out in midfield," Redknapp told BBC Sport's John May at the time.

"I told them it was a matter of playing to our strengths and using him to our advantage."

In 27 starts, Crouch tallied 12 goals - a commendable number considering his service came from the likes of Paul Telfer and Rory Delap (before he learned he could throw far) - but Southampton was relegated, two points adrift of safety.

Redknapp mused toward the end of the season: "England have obviously got good strikers in Wayne Rooney and Michael Owen but, whereas the smaller guys can sometimes struggle to pick their way through a well-organised defence, Crouch offers a different option."

Just a matter of days later, Crouch made his England debut against Colombia alongside Owen. In a World Cup qualifier a few months later, however, it was clear the Three Lions faithful hadn't warmed to its newly capped frontman. When he replaced Shaun Wright-Phillips in October 2005 during a narrow win over Poland, his introduction was booed by fans.

"It was ridiculous, he is a great player," international teammate Joe Cole opined to BBC Five Live after the match.

"Peter is an important member of the squad and he is going to have some great moments in an England shirt."

By then, Crouch was a £7-million striker for Liverpool, and things weren't faring well there either as he was in the middle of a whopping 19-game scoring drought.

'His feet stick out the bed'

Liverpool fans weren't snobbish when it came to Crouch though. They had embraced players of all sizes at Anfield - including ones tagged with not being the most mobile. It was where the rotund Jan Molby made a career in the midfield despite his reluctance to leave the centre circle, and Crouch counted an ageing and portly Robbie Fowler as a teammate five months after his arrival.

Instead, Crouch was serenaded with the Kop chant: "He's big, he's red, his feet stick out the bed, Peter Crouch, Peter Crouch."

Eventually, his awkwardness and good humour was also found by England fans to make him ideal for cult hero status, and Cole's prediction for "great moments" was proven correct.

He hit momentum in Three Lions friendlies, with two substitute appearances yielding a goal each, before Crouch netted a hat trick against Jamaica in another exhibition in June 2006. His form was timely, with Wayne Rooney scrambling to be fit for the 2006 World Cup with a broken metatarsal.

He additionally supplemented his terrace idol status with a robot dance to mark his tallies.

He was partnered Owen in attack at the World Cup for the unconvincing 1-0 opening win over Paraguay, and then, via a tug on Brent Sancho's hair that still sees him vilified in Trinidad and Tobago, scored the match-winner in a late 2-0 win. Crouch fever had arrived in England, and although he was unfairly benched for the rest of the ill-fated tournament, he finished the German showpiece as the only striker that netted for Sven-Goran Eriksson's lot.

Little-and-large

Ultimately, Crouch's stay on Merseyside cannot be called a success. His goal-scoring record wasn't shameful, but it wasn't befitting a Liverpool forward. In the summer of 2008, Crouch was moved onto a Portsmouth that had revised expectations under the ownership of Milan Mandaric and an FA Cup win spearheaded by Harry Redknapp in his second stint at the club.

But gutted by the sales of key players Sulley Muntari and Lassana Diarra, things weren't the same on the South Coast. Redknapp was tempted to the Tottenham post in October, Jermain Defoe followed him in January and, 11 league goals later, Crouch returned to the club where it all began in the summer of 2009.

Here the little-and-large attack of Crouch and Defoe continued to thrive; it was as enigmatic visually as it was tactically for opposition defenders. In 2010, Crouch's header at Manchester City earned Spurs their first-ever Champions League berth; in 2011, however, his own goal confirmed the same landmark fate for City, again at the Etihad Stadium.

He moved to the Potteries later that summer.

Winding down?

With his dwindling strike rate and now playing into his 30s, Crouch could've been approaching the downward trajectory of his powers - but that wasn't to be. Crouch picked up Stoke's Player of the Year gong in his first season, and then confounded expectations again this term: being reinstalled into the starting lineup in December, and then scoring his first Premier League goal in 587 days in the next match.

His form, approaching his 36th birthday, shunted ex-Barcelona starlet Bojan Krkic (now on loan at FSV Mainz), Jonathan Walters, and Wilfried Bony from leading the attacking line, and recently earned him fresh terms until 2018.

Given that he's well into the twilight years of his career, it's difficult to imagine Crouch once again springing a surprise on his doubters, but his status as a national treasure prevails: