3 takeaways from Matchday 2: Lewandowski is a machine; Juventus isn't dead

With another matchday in the books, we take a look back at three things we learned from this week's Champions League action.

All hail the new ruler of Earth, Robert Lewandowski

What King Midas was to gold, Robert Lewandowski is to goals.

The Bayern Munich striker sent the football world into pandemonium last week when he came on as a substitute and promptly scored five goals in nine minutes against Wolfsburg, and he hasn't quite emptied the tank yet.

The Polish star, 27, netted a hat trick in Bayern's 5-0 annihilation of Dinamo Zagreb on Tuesday, bringing his outrageous tally to 10 goals in his last 225 minutes of action across all competitions. (Football is not actually this easy. Honest.)

If the man himself is to be believed, he claims he's still "thirsty for goals."

Bow down, world: this is your new master.

Petr Cech needs to get healthy, and fast

David Ospina is bad at his job. A human being paid (exorbitant) amounts of money every week to stop footballs from getting past him, the Colombian apparently decided Tuesday that he would try to achieve the polar opposite - not only failing to stop said footballs, but actively helping ensure they found their way into his net.

The second goal he conceded in Arsenal's 3-2 loss to Olympiacos - a result stunning as it was debilitating for the Gunners' hopes of progression - saw Ospina drop a corner kick into his own net with nary a soul around him to make the catch overly difficult.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said after the match that he opted to start the diminutive shot-stopper because undisputed No. 1 'keeper Petr Cech is dealing with an undisclosed ailment. Whether that's true or not is questionable - it's possible Wenger just made a terrible lineup decision - but what isn't up for debate is the fact Arsenal needs Cech between the sticks to have any hope of saving its Champions League campaign.

Cristiano Ronaldo's evolution into a poacher is awesome

Cristiano Ronaldo is not the player he once was. That much we know for certain. The days of long, bursting runs down the left wing, the Portuguese phenom bamboozling defenders with multiple step overs, will not return.

This Ronaldo - the 30-year-old who's still a freak of nature, but not quite as explosive as previous iterations - has morphed into one of the most deadly penalty-box poachers of our time. And it's brilliant to watch.

Real Madrid's brightest star shone again Wednesday, netting the only two goals in a victory over Malmo. In the process, he brought himself level with club icon Raul for the distinction of being Los Blancos' all-time leading scorer - doing so in 433 fewer matches, no less.

History in sight for @Cristiano who joins Raúl on 323 @realmadriden goals! #UCL pic.twitter.com/Q5h8FgUV61
— Champions League (@ChampionsLeague) September 30, 2015

His goals were typical of his new attacking style; more of a centre forward than a winger, he gets into prime scoring positions and finishes from close range rather than firing rockets from outside the area.

Embrace the transformation. It's a beautiful thing.

Extra Time

Juventus' demise was greatly exaggerated

Perhaps it wasn't one of the biggest takeaways from the latest slate of matches - mainly because, despite a series of poor results in Serie A, Juventus' underlying numbers suggested a rebound was inevitable - but the Bianconeri did more than just bounce back in Wednesday's 2-0 win over Sevilla.

They dominated.

Final stat. Attempts. Juve 24-1 Sevilla.
— Sid Lowe (@sidlowe) September 30, 2015

The Italian club, which got a goal each from Alvaro Morata and Simone Zaza, put in easily its most impressive performance of the season, curb-stomping the Spanish club in a manner almost nobody else - Barcelona aside - has been able to manage over the last two years.

Rip up those eulogies. The Old Lady - buoyed, undoubtedly, by the debut of Sami Khedira - is alive and doing just fine, thank you very much.