Ranking MLB's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pace of play ideas

With commissioner Rob Manfred wishing to resolve the pace of play issues by the time pitchers and catchers report for spring training, there's limited time for MLB and the players' union to work together amicably.

While the full proposal isn't public, some of the ideas are known thanks to the commissioner telling everyone so that the union feels forced to act bursting at the seams with excitement for ways the great game of baseball can be fixed.

The pace of play proposal doesn't include a pitch clock, but Manfred remains in favor of the idea, and will force it through unilaterally if the MLBPA rejects the tabled plan. Because nothing says labor peace like a good old-fashioned ultimatum.

Let's rank the five ideas - which are all lack in their own merits - in reverse order, starting with the least plausible:

5. Pitch clock

Enough with this.

Pitchers don't want it, and even the hitters don't want it.

Aside from the argument that baseball is the "timeless game" and introducing a clock would change the language of the sport, it's also an unnecessary provision. Imagine the uproar when a pitcher is charged with a ball for going over the pitch clock for the first time? Imagine the first high-leverage moment a player gets walked on a full count? Yeah, because fan's attention spans are more important than the excitement of a payoff pitch during a ninth-inning showdown between a closer and a cleanup hitter.

4. 6 mound visits per game

MLB would have you believe that the number six was a well-thought-out number of mound visits. Here's how it actually happened*:

Manfred: What about just setting a fixed number of mound visits?

Adviser: Uh, you mean, instead of proposing "one per inning" to the MLBPA, we suggest making it six per game or whatever?

Manfred: Yeah, I heard "six." Six sounds good. Make it six.

* - definitely not how it actually happened

Kudos to the first catcher who figures out how to not make any mound visits during the first eight innings and then use all six in the ninth inning of a 12-3 day-game blowout. PACE.

3. Hitters must approach the plate promptly

We're approaching the more reasonable suggestions now, but only due to vagueness.

Getting hitters to scoot from the on-deck circle to the batter's box seems like a perfectly reasonable idea. Except, when was the last time a batter was anything but "prompt" to do that task? Honestly. Is part of the proposal to also play sped up versions of a player's walk-up songs?

2. Specific times for pitchers to warm up

This one also seems vague.

ESPN's Buster Olney doesn't specifically suggest any times for the pitcher to get ready, but a game beginning promptly upon return from commercial break is something fans could welcome.

So - unless the pitcher was batting to end the previous inning - a clock could begin counting down, and the pitcher would have to return to the mound and complete his warmup pitches before it reaches zero. The same thing goes for pitching changes. If this sounds perfectly reasonable to you, that's because it's already in effect.

Perhaps part of the proposal suggests even shorter times or less limited penalties or fines, but that's just conjecture. This one isn't terrible but the devil is in the details, as they say.

1. Bullpen carts

It's worth noting that this was the union's proposal to the league office.

Honestly, let's get excited for two seconds about this. You know those times when older relatives talk about baseball's good ol' days? Well, those days may be back, and not only will your great uncle stop maligning so vocally, but now you can share in the fun times. Look at this thing:

There aren't very many things that happen during professional sporting events about which kids, adults, and geriatrics alike can all say "damn, that looks fun."

But bullpen carts. Dang. They're as fast as The Freeze and even cooler. The Seattle Mariners seem on board (pun intended):

Really makes you wonder, though, why did they even go away? Sure, it's a tad odd that a professional athlete is being shuttled 300 feet from the bullpen to the mound. Not to mention, the reliever has warmed up his arm and gotten his blood pumping to pitch in a key moment of the game just to ... sit down in a cart and have a driver transport him to the mound? So, okay, maybe it's a little weird.