'Twas the Night Before Christmas: MLB Hot Stove edition
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land
Thirty baseball execs, they just couldn't stand
A slow-moving market, a Hot Stove unlit
And so into Santa Claus costumes they fit ...
To ensure that come Christmas morning there'd be
A brand new free agent for you and for me;
And so, through the night they bargained and pleaded
To make sure their team got just what it needed ...
Boston nabbed J.D. Martinez, Dave worked hard to land him
For he just couldn't stomach the Yankees plus Stanton;
To the Bronx went Todd Frazier, to plug up a hole
Cashman passing the time 'til he lands Gerrit Cole.
In limbo, the Blue Jays look poised to abstain
'Til the market collapsed for Lorenzo Cain;
The Rays, sans Longo, weren't expected to add
But how can Matt Albers for one year be bad?
For no good reason, Dan Duquette signed John Lackey
"Trade Machado?" he laughed. "What, and have Angelos sack me?";
With Hosmer now free, the Royals nabbed LoMo
Two years with no playoffs, Moore succumbed to his FOMO.
As wild-card dreams danced in their head
The Twins whiffed on Darvish, got Lance Lynn instead;
And the Indians know it's their division to lose
So Jay Bruce got an offer he couldn't refuse.
Having missed on Machado, the White Sox reset
Adding only Pete Moylan -- they're just not there yet;
The Tigers, so hopeless, needing a youth infusion
Picked up Bartolo Colon to compound the confusion.
In Texas, with Beltre's career winding down
Daniels brought old friend Yu Darvish back to town;
Downstate, in Houston, the champs were just fine
But with lefty Boone Logan, now they're simply sublime.
On the coast, the Angels looked set with Ohtani
Then Eppler offered Arrieta a ton oh-money;
In Seattle, amid his wheelings and dealings
Dipoto convinced Alex Cobb constant rain is appealing!
Billy Beane, not long after acquiring Piscotty
Lured Ubaldo to Oakland -- clearly, he's been naughty;
Across the Bay, the Giants said over and over:
"With Carlos Gonzalez, we'll play into October!"
Padres couldn't get Hosmer, and the snub sure did sting
So they signed Adam Lind -- pretty much the same thing;
The Dodgers, so mighty, with no glaring needs
Couldn't pass up the chance to add Addison Reed.
Out in the desert, the D-Backs sought thump
Neil Walker, they thought, gets us over the hump;
Up in the mountains, the Rockies sought arms
Jason Vargas, they thought, should quell the alarms.
On the north side of Chi-town, where Theo is king
The Cubs re-signed Wade Davis to get that next ring;
The pitching-starved Brewers, so close yet so far
Inked Jaime Garcia, because who needs a star?
The Cardinals couldn't land the Bringer of Rain
So they grabbed Mike Moustakas to numb the pain;
Their future uncertain, the Bucs swung a deal
When Cutch leaves, maybe with Carlos Gomez they'll heal.
With no discernible plan, the Reds inked Granderson
Someone has to fail to drive Joey Votto in;
At last, the Braves have promise, and a GM to match
As for Brett Anderson? Well, he could be a catch.
The Nats' lineup is deep, and their rotation's the best
Perhaps Greg Holland can get them to the NLCS?
Adding Jon Jay, meanwhile, was the Mets' only move;
Doesn't help that their owner is Ebenezer Scrooge.
With Carlos Santana already in tow
The Phils added Brandon Phillips to help the kids grow;
And as for those Marlins, to quash Miami's wrath;
Well, they signed no-one -- Jeter just laughed and laughed and laughed.
Lest we further infringe on copyright;
Let us just say: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!