There has never been an NBA Finals team like these Golden State Warriors

When the Golden State Warriors racked up nine offensive rebounds in the first half of Game 1 of the NBA Finals against the Cleveland Cavaliers - the Dubs only averaged a little over nine such boards per game in the regular season - the cry from the ABC broadcast booth was predictable.

"You can't give up offensive boards against this Warriors team." Throw that one on the pile, then, along with "You can't turn the ball over against this Warriors team," "You can't allow open threes against this Warriors team," and "You can't play one-on-one basketball against this Warriors team." What can you do against This Warriors Team? Well, you can lose.

This Cavaliers Team is a really good unit, but at times during Thursday's 113-91 Game 1 loss, it looked very Confused Math Lady Meme trying to process all the implications of the Warriors' offense in real time.

Most notably, in the first half, the Cavaliers ended up clearing out two extremely wide-open lanes to the basket in transition for Kevin Durant - who generally knows what to do with an extremely wide-open lane to the basket in transition - because the other options coalescing around him on the floor seemed perhaps even more terrifying.

Twice bitten, in the third quarter the Cavs finally opted to wall off Durant's fast-break drive; J.R. Smith left Klay Thompson in the corner to get in the way. As Smith scurried over and a befuddled Kyrie Irving stunted towards Thompson, Durant instead dished to a suddenly wide-open Steph Curry behind the arc - swish. Maybe they should've just let KD dunk again.

(Photo courtesy: Action Images)

Durant was obviously brilliant the whole game - 38-8-8 on over 50 percent shooting with no turnovers and good defense, about as well as you could ever hope to play in your first Finals game in a half-decade - but it's Curry that's probably really panicking the Cavs right now.

His numbers were similarly sparkling - 28-6-10 on 11-of-22 shooting with three steals - but it was the way he put those stats up: Soft-shoe ball-handling routines at the top of the key (yes, you may have this dance, Mark Jackson), pretzel-logic finishes around the basket, and of course, universe-pausing stop-and-pop threes from 30-plus feet.

Curry was officially magic again, and it threw his performance from the 2016 Finals into stark relief: The Internet went particularly wild when Steph found himself iso'd on Kevin Love for the first time in the playoffs since The Stop, and this rematch left Love easily shaken and baked. Curry's full health is nearly as scary an addition to this Warriors roster as the entirety of Durant.

Having both of them makes nearly all other concerns irrelevant. Curry and Durant were the only GSW players to even score in double figures last night - Thompson and Draymond Green went a combined 6-of-28, Zaza Pachulia hit four of his five shots but passed up at least that many open looks in disbelief at how unguarded he was, and even the normally rock-solid David West looked a little rushed and rusty on his jumper in his first-ever Finals game.

It couldn't have mattered less.

When you have two of the dozen most offensively gifted players in NBA history, all the rest of your guys really have to do is hold it down on D and not totally mess up on O - both of which they certainly handled, with Thompson and Green particularly instrumental in holding Cleveland to 35 percent shooting for the game, and all Dubs holding onto the ball like it was a weirdly glowing orb, tying an NBA Finals record for fewest turnovers with four.

(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)

After the game, Doris Burke reminded Durant, "Kevin, the last time you stepped off the floor of an NBA Finals, you were in tears …" Durant's face sunk and his eyes rolled back in his head, the expression of a high schooler hanging out with the cool kids who suddenly has to sit through embarrassing stories of his middle school days on the Science Olympiad. You could practically hear him whining "Mo-o-ommmmmm!!!"

But that's where we're at with This Warriors Team: Even the disco fries-loaded roster of that Durant-Westbrook-Harden-Ibaka 2012 OKC Thunder squad is now basically naked baby photos by comparison for KD. (Westbrook, for his part, seems to have spent the majority of Game 1 watching and singing along to "Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit" at home, which was probably the right call.)

Of course, it's worth noting that those Thunder Buddies also won Game 1 of the 2012 Finals in pretty convincing fashion, before LeBron James - remember him? - and the Miami Heat stormed back to win the next four.

In fact, Game 1 has historically never been kind to LeBron; losing last night dropped him to just 1-7 for his career in Finals openers, and his entire run of Eastern playoff dominance is littered with unceremoniously dropped openers to the likes of Chicago and Indiana; he invariably restores order in Game 2 and traditionally takes control from there.

The Warriors are now 3-for-3 against the Cavs in Game 1 - hell, they won the first two games last year, by a combined 48 points - and in neither case did it portend a short, noncompetitive series from there.

This time doesn't just feel different, though. It is different. This Warriors Team -- 13-0 in the playoffs, and 28-1 over nearly a three-month span - is not just a historically great team, it's a humming, well-rested, and (knock on all available wood) damn-close-to-fully-healthy historically great team. To have a chance of beating them, the Cavs might need some funky stuff to happen.

(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)

That's not even as much of a Hail Mary as it might sound; certainly that's what happened last year, as a slightly hobbled Curry, a suspended Green, and a sidelined Andrew Bogut opened the window for one of the greatest comebacks in NBA history. Over such a hard-fought, high-stakes four-to-seven-game series, some degree of funky stuff is practically inevitable.

Never before, though, has LeBron entered a Finals so needing things to break his way a little. It's what made it devastating for the Cavs last night when Deron Williams missed a long pull-up jumper, or Kyle Korver bricked a long three - when you're playing This Warriors Team, you even need a high percentage of your low-percentage shots to go down.

Things will even out a little with LeBron's supporting cast: Korver and J.R. will hit shots, Love will make putbacks, Tristan Thompson won't likely go scoreless with three rebounds again. But some attrition is due on defense, too: The Warriors only made about half of their gimme layups in the first half, and still led comfortably throughout.

LeBron will have a chance in this series, just maybe not a particularly good one - and one that will need all the artificial inflation it can get.

The good news for LBJ is that if he does find a way to win this series, it'll almost certainly cement him as the GOAT, because only the best player of all time could possibly beat This Warriors Team. LeBron's never faced a Finals opponent like this before, but neither did MJ. Neither has anyone else.