Each team's best Players' Weekend nicknames
Once again, Players' Weekend is approaching, injecting Major League Baseball with an extra dose of levity and fun as players are given the option of donning a nickname on their uniform instead of their surname.
Some like to mix it up with a new nickname each year while others figure it's best not to mess with success. Here are the best nicknames from each team.
For a full list, check out MLB.com.
Arizona Diamondbacks
Alex Avila has used "Parkman" in back-to-back years, but it's a good one if you're a fan of Major League 2. It remains to be seen if Avila has the same shimmy skills, but he does share a passing resemblance to the cocky Jack Parkman.
Atlanta Braves
While most of the list will skew comedic, the more personal route occasionally shines through. Ozzie Albies going with his late father's nickname of "Bolly" is a nice tribute.
Baltimore Orioles
The Orioles aren't the most outwardly creative bunch as it turns out. Paul Fry's "Papa Frita" is good because, you know, french fries.
Boston Red Sox
The Red Sox are almost as uniformly dull as the Orioles. While Mookie Betts going simply with "Mookie" may be the best, Mitch Moreland's "2-Bags" is the most fun and also relevant to his propensity to hit doubles.
Chicago Cubs
For a team that has a lot of personality, the nicknames aren't that memorable. Jon Lester sticking with "Lefthander" is a pretty funny example of being hyperliteral, while Craig Kimbrel using "Dirty Craig" again is a perfect oddity that doesn't need context because it's better left to the imagination.
Chicago White Sox
Evan Marshall rules the day by picking "Forgetting Sarah" as a nod to the endlessly rewatchable movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." And though it's the winner, rookie Eloy Jimenez taking "The Big Baby" should also be good for a couple of laughs.
Cincinnati Reds
Joey Votto is an international treasure and he's one of the few who changes it up each year. "Who" just might be his masterpiece. The comedy stylings of Abbott and Costello may not be in vogue in 2019, but the classic "Who's on First?" bit is one that mostly transcends time. Votto being a first baseman makes it a no-brainer. It's great.
Cleveland Indians
Cleveland has a few candidates. Shane Bieber brings back "Not Justin," which has added appeal after his online encounter with the pop singer. Carlos Carrasco recycles his nickname "Cookie" only in emoji form (🍪), which is a nice touch. Mike Clevinger honors his California background with ✌️☀️. But, it's Francisco Lindor earning top spot after surrounding his trademark moniker "Mr. Smile" with a pair of ☺️emojis.
Colorado Rockies
Trevor Story got a little clever this year with "True" as in ... true story. It's certainly a touch more fun than "Trev" from 2018. If you're partial to emoji-use, Jon Gray's wolf (🐺) will be more your flavor.
Detroit Tigers
The Tigers don't have many that stand out. So, Tyler Alexander using "Todd The Painter" is best almost by default because it's so strange and is a relatively obscure reference to "Wedding Crashers."
Houston Astros
Josh Reddick taking a playful potshot at himself with "Mr. Irrelevant" is a nice bit of self-deprecation. George Springer using "Horhay" is a close second. New acquisition Joe Biagini picking "Jeffrey" is particularly on-brand for his offbeat humor.
Kansas City Royals
Danny Duffy ("Gordo") and Alex Gordon ("Duffman") swapping nicknames probably shouldn't be funny, but it's fairly amusing in a very dumb way. That they're both left-handed and often sport similar facial hair, they've probably been mistaken for one another at least a time or two.
Los Angeles Angels
Reliever Ty Buttrey (🍑 🌴) uses a good visual pun based on his last name. You see, the peach emoji looks something like a butt, add a tree to it and *chef's kiss.*
Los Angeles Dodgers
Matt Beaty will get many a chuckle from "Baters Taters," but it's a distant second to utility man Kristopher Negron, whose "Negron James" is among the best across MLB.
Miami Marlins
Not a lot to choose from, but Jarlin Garcia's "The Elephant" - apparently due to his combination of size and intellect - is the most notable.
Milwaukee Brewers
Movie references will always get special treatment here, and Eric Thames is no different. "Phone Home" is a fantastic - and somewhat subtle - use of his initials to hearken back to one of Steven Spielberg's most celebrated movies.
Minnesota Twins
There might not be a better, more apt nickame than Nelson Cruz's "Boomstick," but if we're favoring funny, it has to go to Trevor May's "IAMTREVORMAY."
New York Mets
Aaron Altherr may only be a role player in Queens, but "A-A-Ron" is an all-timer and a reminder of how great Key & Peele was. Jeff McNeil ("Flying Squirrel") and Pete Alonso ("Polar Bear") deserve mentioning as well.
New York Yankees
Giancarlo Stanton had one of the most boring choices in 2018 when he went with "G." Boy, did he ever step it up this year with "Parmagiancarlo." Other solid options were J.A. Happ's "JDot ADot" and Zack Britton's "With a K."
Oakland Athletics
Josh Phegley's "PTBNL" will never get old, but Nick Martini using 🍸 is too perfect. It's another pick that owes everything to Brad Boxberger's trailblazing 📦 🍔 last season.
Philadelphia Phillies
If anyone has any insight on Brad Miller's "J. Windermere," please enlighten us. The Phillies are otherwise kind of bland, though Rhys Hoskins keeping it simple with "Big Fella" is pretty good. You'd think with all his flair for the dramatic that Bryce Harper would come up with something a little more engaging than "Harp."
Pittsburgh Pirates
The Pirates have a few fun ones and classics strewn among its roster, but Felipe Vazquez channeling what opposing batters must experience when he enters a game with "Nightmare" is a perfect example of why keeping it simple is sometimes the right call.
San Diego Padres
Dog lovers will swoon over Kirby Yates emblazoning "Chubbs Senior" on his uni, since his very good boy Chubbs is such a darling pup.
San Francisco Giants
There is a lot of gold on the Giants, but the edge might belong to Tyler Beede's "Beedah," which is a nod to his Massachusetts background and puts the accent into writing. Also, Austin "AC" Slater will work for fans of a certain vintage.
Seattle Mariners
Dee Gordon going with ⚡ is the best of the bunch in Seattle. Daniel Vogelbach is tempting fate by calling himself "The Babe."
St. Louis Cardinals
While the official list has Tommy Edman going by "Eddy," MLB.com's Anthony Castrovince wrote he's going by "Agent Scarn." As a reference to the absurdity of "The Office," that puts him atop the Cardinals' dull list of names.
Tampa Bay Rays
"A Night at the Roxbury" may not be a great movie (don't @ me), but Will Ferrell shouting "Emiliooooo" about an encounter with Emilio Estevez is pretty terrific. It's also the source (presumably) of Emilio Pagan's nickname.
Texas Rangers
If Evan Marshall's tribute to one of the best comedies of the last 15 years isn't the best Players' Weekend nickname, then the crown has to go to Hunter Pence. Emojis are all the rage on this year's uniforms, but none are as good as Pence's ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Perfection.
Toronto Blue Jays
The Blue Jays don't have any particularly bad nicknames, but few really jump out. Lourdes Gurriel Jr.'s "#Pinapower Jr." is fun and so is Teoscar Hernandez's "Mr. Seeds." Maybe the expectation was that Vladimir Guerrero Jr. would use something like "Plakata," but he went more personal, using the nickname given to him by his uncle ("El K"), according to Sportsnet's Hazel Mae.
Washington Nationals
It might be because dinner is cooking, but Erick Fedde's "Feddeccini" scratches the right itch. Though, any "Star Wars" fanatic will obviously flock to "Obi-Sean" Doolittle. Max Scherzer going with "Brown Eye" makes sense as a follow-up to last year's "Blue Eye," but also has a double entendre that may - or may not - have been unintentional.
What names did we miss? What are your favorites? Let us know in the comments below. Players' Weekend runs from Aug. 23-25.