Champions League Recap: It's back, and it's glorious as ever

The Champions League is back. It's been too long, old friend.

Everything we enjoy about Europe's premier club competition was on full display in Matchday 1, with a bevy of wonderful goals, last-gasp action, and -as ever - a good blend of controversy.

Sit back, listen to the best anthem on the planet, and relive all of the action.

The Storylines

Arsenal overwhelmed by rampant Dortmund

A 2-0 loss away to Borussia Dortmund, while not a positive result (expert analysis, I know), isn't a damning score on paper, and Arsenal were very lucky the scoreline was respectable come the final whistle at Signal Iduna Park on Tuesday.

Arsene Wenger's side were run ragged by Dortmund, despite the latter missing a host of injured stars and not playing Shinji Kagawa due to a lack of match fitness. The Gunners were outshot 23-5, hit the target only once, and were cut to shreds by the pace of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, the cleverness of Henrikh Mkhitaryan and the incisive running of Ciro Immobile.

The latter opened the scoring just before halftime, while Aubameyang doubled the lead shortly after the interval. He would hit the crossbar later in the second stanza, while Mkhitaryan should have found the net when clean through on goal, but inexplicably blasted the ball over the target.

We'll never know if things would have been different if Wenger had Mathieu Debuchy, Calum Chambers, Nacho Monreal and Mathieu Flamini at his disposal. Arsenal supporters will likely say as much. Just don't remind them Dortmund were without Marco Reus, Mats Hummels, Ilkay Gundogan, Nuri Sahin and Jakub Błaszczykowski.

Bayern leave it late against Manchester City

Pep Guardiola and company were frustrated for 90 minutes at the Allianz Arena, with a combination of Joe Hart and a stingy Manchester City defense - aided by their obviously reserved approach to the match - keeping the German side at bay.

In fairness, Bayern had several good chances before Jerome Boateng finally beat Hart with a wonderful volley late in the contest to secure a 1-0 win. But you don't get points for what should have happened, and City will be bitterly disappointed they lost out on a draw in such dramatic fashion.

Related: 3 things you need to know about Tuesday's action

Related: 3 things you need to know about Wednesday's action

The Highlights

Chelsea vs. Schalke: Julian Draxler is some kind of wizard

That touch. Wow.

Juventus vs. Malmo: Carlos Tevez remembers how to score ...

It took him 1,988 days, but the Argentine finally found the net once again in the Champions League.

... never forgot how to dance

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

[Courtesy: Reddit]

Real Madrid vs. Basel: Benzema scores Los Blancos' 1,000th European goal

Real Madrid is struggling mightily early in the La Liga season. You wouldn't know it after seeing this bit of magic.

Bayern Munich vs. Manchester City: Jerome Boateng volley? Jerome Boateng volley!

Not bad for your first Champions League goal.

Related: Top 5 goals from Matchday 1 of the Champions League

The Shocker

Olympiacos hits three against last season's finalists 

Kostas Mitroglou looked like a competent striker, and Atletico Madrid like a vulnerable team, as Olympiacos stunned last season's runner-up Tuesday, winning 3-2 in Greece.

Atletico, coming off a 2-1 victory over city rivals Real Madrid in domestic play, were uncharacteristically sloppy at the back, and they paid for it. The loss makes their next group match - against Juventus - almost a must-win if the Spanish club wants to maintain legitimate hopes of making it to the knockout stage.

Maybe Group A won't be so straightforward after all.

The Controversy 

Ludogorets robbed of historic point?

Was it a penalty?

After battling back late and drawing level with (an admittedly lackluster) Liverpool at Anfield on Tuesday, Champions League debutantes Ludogorets Razgrad looked set to earn a historic point.

But a controversial foul by goalkeeper Milan Borjan gave the Reds an opportunity to win the match from the spot in injury time, and Steven Gerrard didn't waste it.

The 1,000 Words

Jurgen Klopp forever. Also, his hoodie is significantly better than Bill Belichick's.

Stray Thoughts

• Arsenal, still in desperate need of a legitimate defensive midfielder, cannot afford a serious injury to Jack Wilshere. This is a recording.
• Real Madrid continue to feast on weak opposition in the Champions League, despite their recent domestic struggles.
• Roma, who annihilated an abysmal CSKA Moscow side 5-1 on Wednesday, will push Manchester City right to the end for second place in Group E.
• Chelsea are not invincible, as evidenced by their draw against Schalke.
• Nani is still a good footballer, even if you can't bring yourself to believe that.
• With a little bit more quality in the final third, APOEL could have stolen a point at the Camp Nou.
• Ajax fans still love Zlatan Ibrahimovic. And Paris Hilton, apparently.
• If you selected Yacine Brahimi on your fantasy team this week, you're a smarter person than I am. Also, I'd like you to give me this week's lottery numbers when you get a chance. Thanks.

For all of the scores from this week's Champions League action, click here.