Skip to content

Weird Week in Football: Beak freaks and fowl games

@BeardedGenius/Twitter

Every Monday, theScore will highlight the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here's what made us smile - or cringe - on the pitch this past week.

With the international break midway through its exacting slog, the world of football has been short on entertainment. Sans league play, fans the world over have been hampered by lethargy associated with drab scoreless international friendlies and lopsided World Cup qualifiers.

Heck, they're even clamping down on drugs made in the image of our footballing heroes. There is no fun left, and nothing is funny.

With that in mind, here's a look at a slow week in all things outlandish in the Beautiful Game, with the British Isles thankfully carrying the responsibilities in an otherwise stagnant term:

The perils of crowdsourcing

San Diego wants an MLS side. An ownership group including Landon Donovan has proposed to build a 55-acre Soccer City SD facility with a custom-built 30,000-seater stadium, and in encouraging fan involvement, has asked locals to submit a team name.

(Photo courtesy: SoccerCity SD/Facebook)

With the poll entering a fourth and final round, Footy McFooty Face leads the way, threatening to sully the league's high standard for team names. French playwright Moliere said "The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them," which reminds us that this isn't funny, nobody is amused, and comedy is dead.

Football has gone to the birds

Charlton fan Daniel Boylett, 35, finally had his day in court for allegedly punching Crystal Palace's eagle mascot, Kayla, during a League Cup clash in September 2015.

The Addicks supporter denies charges of criminal damage and violent disorder for reportedly throwing a punch at the bald eagle as she made her customary lap around the pitch at Selhurst Park during Palace's 4-1 victory over its London rival.

"As he passed the stand he noticed three or four fans were shouting abuse and one of these three or four lent over the barrier and threw a punch directed at Kayla," prosecutor Daniel Higgins recounted eagle trainer Christ Belsey's observations, courtesy of the Telegraph.

"Oi, why divvin' you pick on somebody yer own size ya gadgie 'avin a radgie?" said Newcastle supporter Barry Rogerson, who was released weeks into a 12-month prison sentence for punching a horse after his Magpies dropped the Tyne-Wear derby 3-0 to rival Sunderland in 2013.

Once a disciplinary misfit, always a moron

Well-travelled and since-retired Northern Ireland winger Keith Gillespie may fancy updating his autobiography "How Not To Be A Football Millionaire" with a chapter about how not to be a complete eejit, after the Manchester United academy product turned a charity match into a roller derby.

During a charity match in the honour of West Ham lad Dylan Tombies, who died in 2014 after a protracted battle with cancer, United "legends" member Gillespie floored Aussie defender Dean Heffernan with a nasty elbow. Heffernan was promptly rushed to the hospital with a jaw injury, memory loss, and chipped teeth. Moron.

Dries your eyes, mate

Before we log off in anticipation of Tuesday's barnburner between New Zealand and Fiji, World Cup qualifiers on the continent did provide a small contribution to the Weird Week in Football courtesy of Belgium international and Napoli goal-machine Dries Mertens.

During Saturday's 1-1 donnybrook between the Red Devils and Greece, Mertens had a bone to pick with full-back Georgios Tzavellas on the hour mark.

Romelu Lukaku's late equaliser was enough to save face for Belgium after flavour-saver purveyor Kostas Mitroglou scored for the visitor in the 46th minute in a match with 10 yellow cards and dismissals for Tzavellas and Panagiotis Tachtsidis.

(Photos courtesy: Action Images)

Daily Newsletter

Get the latest trending sports news daily in your inbox