5 things we learned in MLS Week 12: A Red wedding and high spending

Week 12 of the 2016 MLS season was billed as "Rivalry Week," with bitter foes across the league squaring off in heated contests, none more so than what transpired in the Big Apple.

Here's what we learned in Week 12:

The Red(Bull) Wedding

(Before reading this section, please play this song in the background)

The big game this weekend was New York City FC vs. the New York Red Bulls, the first Hudson River Derby of the season. One team carried the weight of its history, the other looked to prove itself, dreaming of victory.

Let those dreams be dashed forever.

The New York Red Bulls didn't just defeat NYCFC - they destroyed them. Patrick Vieira could only watch as his team fell apart in front of his very eyes, without so much as a whimper.

Seven goals told the story of humiliation at Yankee Stadium, as the Red Bulls matched the largest margin of victory in MLS history.

And who are you, the Red Bulls said, that I must bow so low?

Hey big spender

This week, the Major League Soccer Players Union released the first of its bi-annual league-wide salary figures, with a number of newcomers' earnings revealed to the public.

You know what that means, right? It's time to snoop into the private matters of our favorite athlete types! Here's the rundown of new salaries revealed for the 2016 season:

• Tim Howard - $2,575,000
• Shkelzen Gashi - $1,668,750
• Jermaine Jones - $650,000
• Nigel De Jong - $500,000
• Ashley Cole - $327,625
• Jordan Morris - $190,500
• Julio Baptista - $90,000

Orlando City captain Kaka is the highest-paid player in the league at $7,167,500 per year, while Toronto FC star Sebastian Giovinco sits just behind at $7,115,555 per year.

Drogba's turf phobia isn't temporary

At the beginning of the year, the Montreal Impact announced that Didier Drogba would not be playing on turf as he recovered from a knee injury.

That qualifier was perhaps slightly misinforming, since Drogba, now healthy, decided to skip his side's away trip to Orlando City and the artificial surface of the Citrus Bowl that comes with it.

If that trend continues, Drogba is set to miss three more matches due to the turf: a trip to Providence Park against the Portland Timbers on July 13, another trip to the Citrus Bowl on Oct. 2, and a final day fixture at Gillette Stadium against the New England Revolution on Oct. 23.

The Zlatan deal is ... complicated

Last week, reports surfaced that Zlatan Ibrahimovic might soon be joining the LA Galaxy, after calling it time with Paris Saint-Germain.

Philadelphia Union head coach Jim Curtin then revealed that his team held the Discovery Rights for the Swedish striker. If Bruce Arena wants Zlatan, he'll need to trade something to the Union in return.

But this is Major League Soccer - nothing is ever that simple, even if it's complicated and convoluted, as ESPN FC's Taylor Twellman reports. In sum, Twellman says that if Zlatan is playing in MLS this season, he will not be doing so as a Galaxy player, since the league is unwilling to bend its three DP limit rules mid-season.

As for the discover rights?

"From what I've gathered, you don't discover Zlatan, Messi, Ronaldo," Twellman said. "So, Zlatan coming into the league, there's talk of whether or not the Philadelphia Union would get compensation - they would not. But it does beg the question why last year Didier Drogba wasn't on that list and Montreal had to trade a boatload to the Chicago Fire for his rights."

Frank Lampard: a star no more

How do you welcome back an injured star player like Frank Lampard? If you're an NYCFC fan, you boo him:

"If I'm getting booed for being injured, there's not much I can do about that," Lampard offered in response, according to the Telegraph.