Former MLBer Aubrey Huff admits to Adderall use, almost killing himself
During the San Francisco Giants' World Series run in 2010 - which would eventually be followed by two more championships for the franchise, in 2012 and '14 - Aubrey Huff was an offensive catalyst and locker room leader for the club, but during that successful season he was apparently hiding something.
The former MLB player, who last played in the big leagues in 2012, was using Adderall, which he opened up about to ESPN's Buster Olney in a recent interview about his newly released book, "Baseball Junkie."
"I think at the end of the 2010 World - we win the World Series in 2010 (with the San Francisco Giants), I was seventh in the league in MVP voting, leader in the clubhouse, offensively I carried the team," he explained to Olney. "You know, I was having a great year, one of the best years I’ve ever had obviously with winning the World Series. The next morning I woke up next to my wife after we won the World Series, and I looked her dead in the eye and I go, ‘Huh. Now what?’ It was a feeling - I was coming down from my Adderall - it was a feeling of worthlessness and emptiness because I worked my whole life to win a World Series, but I felt so empty and so ashamed.
"So I went through that whole 2010 playing under the influence. … I think in a lot of ways, Adderall is more potent than any steroid you can take because, as you know, baseball is a game of mental toughness, and Adderall gets into your head and makes you feel invincible."
Huff's struggles with Adderall apparently took a major turn for the worse in 2014 when he contemplated suicide.
"In 2014, I found myself in my closet, on my knees, with a .357 Magnum, hammer pulled back, staring at myself in the mirror," he told Olney when asked what his low point with addiction was. "... I was ready to pull the trigger. This was a low-low point in my life. I had hit rock bottom at that moment."
Huff went on to explain he was first given Adderall by a Baltimore Orioles teammate in 2009 to cope with a hangover, which he said stemmed from his daily use of alcohol.
"I just popped it naturally and within 30 minutes ... it was a feeling of euphoria that I had never felt in all my life," Huff said. "I knew right then and there I was going to take this stuff the rest of my career."
The 40-year-old Huff later admitted his Adderall addiction also led to a gambling addiction, and nearly ended his marriage.
He told Olney he's been clean of Adderall since 2012, but has had to deal with multiple issues surrounding depression and anxiety, although his head is currently feeling the clearest it has been for some time.
Over the course of his 13 seasons in the show, Huff hit 242 home runs and recorded an OPS of .806.
- With h/t to CBS Sports