Obligatory Sports Babe

This morning we'll go with semi-WAG Sophie Reade, who apparently won a UK Big Brother season or something, and who apparently dated Gary Lineker's son a few months back, so... uh... I think techically that's all we need.

Quote of the Day

"Imagine if you go there to see Miss Universe - and you end up having Miss Iowa."  - Washington Nationals pitcher Miguel Batista on the fans' reception after he filled in Tuesday night for phenom Stephen Strasburg, who was scratched with shoulder inflammation, according to USA Today.

Did He Expect Any Less?

"A fan wearing a Miami Heat jersey of LeBron James drew the ire of the crowd at a Cleveland Indians game and was escorted out of the ballpark," says an AP report via NBC News. "Fans in the left-field bleachers chanted obscenities and pointed at the man Wednesday night during the sixth inning of the Indians' 8-0 loss to the New York Yankees. Hundreds of fans joined in before security led the man out of Progressive Field."

Amare Gets Chosen

"U.S. basketball star Amar'e Stoudemire landed in Israel on Wednesday for a voyage of discovery after learning he has Jewish roots. Stoudemire's agent said the New York Knicks forward was planning a weeklong visit to learn about the country and explore its religion," explains Israel's oldest daily, Haaretz. "According to an Army Radio report, the Florida native plans to spend time in Israel learning Hebrew, having recently learned he has a Jewish mother."

The Onion Wins the Internet, Re: Miami Heat

"After weeks of debate over their collective nickname, Lebron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade announced yesterday that the newly formed all-star trio would call themselves the Three-Headed Shitstorm," says the Onion, absolutely fucking nailing it. "It was between the Three-Headed Shitstorm, Miami's Mighty Three-Way, Category 3 Hurricane Fuckface, and Super NBA Friends, which was LeBron's idea that nobody liked," Wade said during an interview with ESPN, adding that the group's first choice, the King Cobra Super Shit Snakes of South Beach, was overruled by Heat president Pat Riley. (Click the link for the full-on fake goodness.)

The Last American Hero

"Ten o'clock Sunday morning in the hills of North Carolina. Cars, miles of cars, in every direction, millions of cars, pastel cars, aqua green, aqua blue, aqua beige, aqua buff, aqua dawn, aqua dusk, aqua aqua, aqua Malacca, Malacca lacquer, Cloud lavender, Assassin pink, Rake-a-cheek raspberry. Nude Strand coral, Honest Thrill orange, and Baby Fawn Lust cream-colored cars are all going to the stock-car races, and that old mothering North Carolina sun keeps exploding off the windshields. Mother dog!" begins Tom Wolfe's amazing The Last American Hero, a profile of early NASCAR star Junior Johnson, one of Esquire magazine's self-proclaimed seven greatest Esquire stories ever-- and also part of Wolfe's nails 1965 collection, The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby. The magazine describes the piece as "an early step in the so-called New Journalism, a first reference for the term 'good ol' boy,' a deep breath into the future of the New South."

Quote of the Day, II

"Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values." - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, talking about Paul the Octopus of all the goddamned things! Via the Daily Mirror.

Quickly

The Sports Pickle lists what they call the twenty most ridiculously humiliating sports injuries of all time.

"In 97 Jordan was a free agent.Riley tried to sign MJ, MJ said to Riley 'I'm honored that you want me to sign with you, but I want to kill you,'" according to a tweet from NBA trainer Rob McClanaghan. Uh... sure.

Sports Illustrated has put together their list of the 25 most hated teams in the (mostly recent) history of sports.

Us right here at The Score talk to Megadeth's Dave Mustaine about um... sporty-type things.

Deadspin, quite rightly, wonders just what the hell was up with the guy at Tuesday's Phillies game who held up a sign that read "cum husks."

Keyboard Cat, Is That You???

Guys, I think something's wrong with Keyboard Cat. He looks sick or something! What do we do????