Mesut Özil: Human Or Alien?

German footballer Mesut Özil earned worldwide notice with his breakout performance during this summer's World Cup in South Africa.  Normally, this type of newfound fame would be welcome by a young athlete looking to make his mark in a sport.  However, for Özil, one has to wonder how his alien overlords feel about all the attention being rained down upon their undercover ambassador to earth.

What's that? You don't follow?

Oh, sure. I get it. <Wink, wink> I don't find the evidence that Mesut Özil is from another planet to be overwhelming at all, either.

Exhibit A: The face.  I'm sure technology is amazing on other planets, but even the latest gizmos from Zohltran IV can't cover up all of the alienic features present in Özil's facial architecture.  Just look at the bridge of his nose, those cheek bones and the ridge of the midfielder's forehead. It's clearly from another planet.

Exhibit B: Passport issues. Turkey manager Guus Hiddink caused quite a stir during the World Cup by claiming that Özil's German passport was a fake and that the Werder Bremen star was actually Turkish. Passport mix ups are common for aliens living among us because of all the forged documents needed to feign citizenship. It also wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that the German government is somehow involved in all this, hiding Özil's true identity and allowing his people to observe humanity in exchange for attacking football.

Exhibit C: I know, I know. You're finding this hard to believe. I mean, sure, maybe in the future aliens might live among us, but right now? That's just crazy talk. Well, what if I told you that Özil is engaged to be married to Anna Maria Lewe, the sister of Sarah Connor? Last time I checked, Sarah Connor had an interesting relationship with time travel. So there. Not so far fetched, now, is it?

Exhibit D: Finally, are you honestly going to sit there and tell me that a human could do this?