Criminal Minded
Every week, without fail, athletes managed to get themselves arrested. Every Friday, I go over those arrested in something called Criminal Minded. This week was particularly fertile, for some reason.
Football
Richmond Spiders offensive lineman Jimmy Speros was charged with felony hit and run this week after blowing through a stop sign, running his truck into an SUV, and then leaving the scene on foot. Not that it matters, but Speros is the son of former Redskins Coach Jim Speros.
I don’t understand these guys who attempt to leave crash scenes on foot. I mean, it’s not like the car has a license plate/VIN/insurance and registration that can be linked back to you and your address. (WTVR.com)
Kentucky Wildcats linebacker Ridge Wilson was arrested on felony drug trafficking charges this week. Police searched Wilson’s car after he was found parked in a “known drug trafficking area.” What’s interesting is that Wilson wasn’t found with marijuana or cocaine, but an undisclosed quantity of Xanax, as well as almost $2,000 in cash.
He’s since been kicked off the team.
Am I the only one who’s surprised that there’s a huge black market demand for prescription tranquilizers? Seriously, who's buying Xanax off the street? (Courier-Journal.com)
South Carolina Gamecocks linebacker Angelo Watley was arrested on theft charges last weekend. Police in Columbia, SC. He’s been accused of grand larceny, financial transaction card theft and violent burglary after allegedly breaking into a house and taking a laptop, iPad, cash and cards. He’s been suspended from the team. (WISTTV.com)
Apparently he was actually in the house when he was caught. He didn’t even make it out. If I was Steve Spurrier, I’d kick this guy off the team. Not for theft, but because he wasn’t fast enough to evade the police.
Basketball
Sheldon Cooley, a junior guard with the Atlantic Sun Conference’s East Tennessee State Buccaneers, has been charged with filing a false report. Cooley was legitimately the victim of a crime, the apartment he shares with two other players was broken into earlier in the month. Unfortunately, when he reported the theft, he added a fictional $1,300 in cash to the list of things that were stolen. He claimed he’d withdrawn the cash earlier that day, before eventually coming clean under questioning. (Huffington Post)
Does anyone else think that $1,300 is an odd number to make up?
The Other Football
Hilton Moreira, a 31 year-old Brazilian striker who plies his trade with Indonesia’s Sriwijaya, has been charged with attempted sexual assault. Police in Indonesia say he and another man attacked a 19 year-old woman in her apartment, attempting to force her to undress before she was able to call for help. Moreira’s lawyer is claiming that the assault was an accident. (Jakarta Globe)
I’m not sure he really understands the meaning of the word accident.
Proving that getting arrested isn’t the exclusive domain of male athletes, Carli Shultis, a sophomore forward with the Georgia Bulldogs women’s team, was arrested after shoving an order of hash browns down her pants at an on-campus eatery. An employee saw her trying to steal the taters, at which point she tried to put them back, then offered to pay for them. (Why she was pant-stealing hash browns if she had money is completely beyond me.) (Black Sports Online)
Anyway, as a result of stealing $1.06 worth of fried potatoes, Shultis was taken to Clarke County jail and banned from all on-campus eateries for a year.
I actually don’t know what to say here.
MMA
Demitrice Woods, a light heavyweight who managed to amass a less-than-impressive 2-4 record fighting for regional promotions on the West Coast, was arrested by a SWAT team in Lompoc, California this week. Police there say Woods, who is already on parole was the subject of an ongoing narcotics investigation. When they crashed his door, they found two grams of meth, ammunition — but oddly, no guns — stun guns and various “martial arts weapons.” (Crime Voice)
Look, if he’s guilty, Woods is clearly not a good guy, but did they really set up a The Wire-type investigation on this guy over some low level meth dealing? Two grams? Marlo Stanfield you are not, sir.
In Conclusion
Any woman who shoves potato products down her pants is wife material in my book. Drop me a line, Carli. I think we'd be good together. Until then, here's a YouTube video as a token of my feelings for you.
